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if only i the earth can swallow me whole, right here, right now...

The only good diet cola is one with a hole in it. (Was outside checking my zero at 50 yards; dead on. Ah, the joy for living in the outback.)

I feign confidence quite well don't I

I don't understand anything.

My back keeps cracking in this position.

HAND
FLAPPY
B!RD

I don't like it when people's dogs bark along this street; it means they aren't home. Of course, said dogs are probably barking at animals, but you never know; burglaries have happened here.

I don't like it one bit.

(I should probably go and have a look with the night vision along the road.)

i would like to go and annoy a policeman. i am in the mood for some fun. i have an idea:

go and wait on the side of the road in my car until a cop car speeds by with their lights flashing on their way to somewhere, and then give chase. catch up to the police car and stay on his tail. he will be torn between checking me out (as a probable lunatic) and continuing to his incident.
at some point he will pull over after radioing in that he has a more urgent matter to attend to (me), and he would expect me to race on past, but instead, i stop my car behind the policeman's car, and get out and approach him yelling at him to stay in the car.
then, if all goes well, demand that he report the incident that he is speeding to so recklessly, and if need be, attempt to perform a citizens arrest on him if he fails to disclose his reason for speeding, or if i deem it to be unsatisfactory (i am his boss as a member of the public).

go down in flames, and spend a few hours amusing myself with the police at the station i am taken back to, and then look forward to annoying the judge when my case finally is heard.

but i am too tired for all that now, so i think i will just go to bed.

Just some fruit bats.

Kitty katz was very scared earlier when the smoke alarms were going off. She was huddled in the laundry.

I think the ringing in my ears is just about gone now.

it is rare that i get tired, and it is for that reason i find it very hard to sleep when i do get tired. i find the experience novel and exciting because it is so rare, and i simply have to stay up and experience it. wow.

They're pretty loud, yeah.

The sooner the ringing goes after acoustic trauma, the better (obviously). Good that it's almost gone for you.

the psychologist i am seeing is not very interesting. i may play a game with her when i see her next.

she wants me to "try something new" to break me out of my dependence on routines. she told me that spontaneity is what i need to become acquainted with. "try something new" eh?

ok i will tell her this:

"i did something new the other night. i wrote the word "spangledrack" on a piece of paper. i have never done that before.
i waited for a while and it didn't seem to work.
i still felt the same, so i wrote it again. still nothing.
i wrote it and wrote it over and over again, and when i started to get the hang of writing it, i actually did find it kind of soothing, so now i write it every morning and evening, and i quite like it now.
i will stick with that word however because i do not want to go through all that adjustment process again."

potential conversation with neighbor through wire fence who is trying to be friendly...


neighbour: nice cat.
me: yes.
neighbour: what's it's name?
me: i never found out what it's name is. i asked around and no one else seems to know either, so i guess i'll never know.
neighbour: well what do you call it?
me: i do not know what to call it because i don't know it's name. i thought i just explained that. is that some kind of ivy growing there?

neighbour: why don't you give it a name?
me: sorry?
neighbour: the cat..
me: i am finished talking about the cat sorry. i asked you if that was ivy?
neighbour: not really sure.
me: ok thanks for your help. goodbye.

walk back down the yard and go inside and close the door and leave him feeling as if it may not be a fulfilling thing to do to tempt me into future conversations.

On the continuing adventures of Dill's woodland strides (past midnight):

1 koala growled at me; I'm not going to steal your chicks, dude. That just isn't me
4 squirrel gliders were doing their thing (apart from the gliding part, they run up and down trees just like squirrels; hence, the name)
1 grunting of unknown origin

Seems pretty "native" nowadays. Which is good to see.

I'm in bed.