Post a random truth (about yourself)

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I think I have control issues, drinking use to compensate for these feelings. Now I got to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference. Reality is a huge slap in the face sometimes.

There's always some reason why I can't get in contact with the department of psychology where I used to live. Either it just closed for the day, it's the weekend, they just don't answer or my friends are distracting me and then I start feeling annoyed at them for it and then angry and hating of myself for getting annoyed at my FRIENDS who had no idea what they were doing and why didn't I speak up to them that I needed to call them anyway? Because I was afraid one of them would say something like "I just hang with us and happiness will come naturally. I took antidepressants and they NEVER worked for me, I don't believe in them."

I'm at the library right now.

I'm currently doing Psychology homework about Baron-Cohen's study about autism and the theory of mind.

I wish someone was with me right now telling me "Nobody will ever lock you up or arrest you under the Mental Health Act or force you to do anything or plan your day or your life or do any of that, because I won't let them. I'll kill them jsut to keep them away from you." I'm selfish and ret*d but I really badly want someone to be there with me saying this to me.

Despite being 18 years old and a senior in High School I have never been on anything even resembling a date in my entire life. This will change in the near future.

I think I finally found new anime to obsess over - Haruhi Suzumiya and Lucky Star. I'll get the Haruhi DVDs when I get paid in April, and then when May comes... Lucky Star time!

R.I.P
Hellsing and Trinity Blood obsession
October '06 - March '08

Right now I have a headache.

First of all, if you're typing this, you're NOT ret*d, and I don't think you're selfish either (or at least not more selfish then the typical Aspie, which we can't help)

Second of all, call up a friend or anybody who you could talk to. Even if it's about anything, it might make you feel less alone (or add to your stress - it depends on the person )

I found a new obsession too!

It's called religion, in the form of Buddism I have to learn everything about it now! (Though I'm going to struggle to learn meditation - any tips guys?)

Good to hear you've found something you're interested in. I'm not a buddhist myself but I do want to take up meditating. You've probably already heard this, but find a quiet space where you will not be disturbed for a while. That's really the only thing I know to tell you.

Anyway, random truth:

I'm currently competing for an item on ebay.

Last edited by Social_Fantom on 16 Mar 2008, 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've got tooo much peace and quiet here. No one visits anymore.

It always bothered me mildly when people talked about how children are happy and content with no worries or serious fear. I remember feeling the way I do right now, when I was an infant or 1 or 2 years old, lying in my crib sad and lonely and scared of getting sadder and lonelier, crying for my mother to come in and stimulate me, and she came in and it stimulated me a little but I was so badly depressed I was still crying. When I was about 3 or 4 I would wake up sad and lonely and cry and cry for my mother who was trying to sleep and finally she came in and I said I wanted to listen to something and she put on my Bert and Ernie tape. And I would feel better. I remember at least once when I got sad and lonely again after the tape stopped and started crying for my mother again and she would restart it from the beginning and go back to bed hoping she would get some sleep for the rest of the night. I didn't want to make her mad at me so I stopped crying so much when I got older and for some years wouldn't cry at all in front of anyone. I didn't want to be scolded or punished. But was someone's lack of sleep as painful to them as being depressed was to me? Don't tell me little kids don't get depressed. They just don't call it depression. I didn't know the word. When you're 4 years old, or 4 months old, you don't have the vocabulary to say you need some Prozac.

I'm not a weak, passive ret*d, and I will stick up, for myself!

It's not a lightbulb, it's Geraldine.

I've calmed down, quite a bit.