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ImAnAspie
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26 Nov 2015, 3:07 pm

b9 wrote:

where is the balance?
what is right and wrong to do?
do i help what i feel sorry for or cheer what i am glad to have been fed.

there is a spider that lives in my window sill (inside) and she has grown largish, but she is a web bound spider.
i have watched her for months almost starving and i can not catch prey for her because it must be a natural catch for her to feel like it is hers to eat.

tonight just a minute ago, i saw a beetle fly into that corner of the window sill, and i saw it wander about all confused, and i thought "you better get out of there fast", and just then, the spider came darting out from her funnel and bit the beetle, and i wanted to save the beetle, but i knew that it was already bit so would likely not survive, and i did not want to deprive the spider from it's long awaited and vital meal.

i hated to watch the beetle struggle on and on with the spider continuously biting it.
but i can not interfere with nature i guess, and it was already too late to save the beetle, but it struggled and struggled and i felt it and i knew it was having a very bad time.

the spider who has waited for months and was almost dead saw this as a salvation, and i just watched with sadness at the cruelty of life's end and the joy of it's salvation.

i had to look away and i guess the beetle is still now, but i will not look again until tomorrow as i am now going to go to sleep.

b9 - your description of how it made you feel is exactly how I feel. I often go through the same thoughts and emotions in such circumstances.

The other night, I saw my kitten playing with (tormenting) a cricket and went through the same dilemma between not interfering with nature and being kind to the cricket, so I left the room not knowing what to do. (He gets so bored! The kitten - not the cricket!)

Some time later, I went back into the lounge room and they were still 'playing'. I couldn't stand it anymore so I told him to leave the poor cricky alone and put the cricket outside.

What is the right thing to do? I can't bear to see any creature in pain, suffering or scared. I thought about the terror that poor cricket must have been going through and had to do something.

I also don't like killing insects. I have come to this conclusion:

I will help any creature that it is in my ability to do so; that it is not too late to rescue. It may be natural but so is getting cancer and dying a horrible, protracted, painful death in front of your loved ones and if I could stop that one as well, I would! So, not all natural things are good, and should be stopped if possible.

(If it is too late to save the poor insect's life, and it is in, or will soon be in great pain, suffering or terror, I will end its life as quickly and painlessly as possible).

I don't like to kill anything, not even flies or cockroaches but I will kill insects that initiate an unprovoked attack like mosquitoes and ants (they started it)! And flies that don't heed the warning to keep away from my face and stop bothering me (I warned them with my grumbling and flailing arms)!

I don't even like killing spiders because they don't usually come after you. They simply defend themselves if they feel they're under attack. Trouble is, they're so paranoid! They sometimes feel they're under attack when they're not (like when you stick your foot into the boot that has the funnel-web spider in it).

That's what I've come up with so far in life!

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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.

Earthling
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26 Nov 2015, 7:03 pm

I have anxiety to return hugs in the hug thread. :oops:

Drawyer
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26 Nov 2015, 8:08 pm

ImAnAspie wrote:

Drawyer wrote:

I think therefore I am.

I don't think therefore I am not.

I find my brain blank whenever I don't put anything,something into it.

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Raleigh
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27 Nov 2015, 2:15 am

I am full of mistakes and imperfections.
Therefore, I am real.

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KyleTheGhost
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27 Nov 2015, 5:34 am

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. . .

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Earthling
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27 Nov 2015, 8:39 am

All right. I'm going to the library!
I prepared a bottle of black tea (caffeine boost in case I get tired) and am ready to go.

Earthling
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27 Nov 2015, 1:13 pm

I've read a book about the psychology of living (the housing kind of living).

Especially interesting was, I found, a diagram of 4 different types of people.
The bidirectional-pointing arrows suggest polar opposites.

Quote:

close (self-definition through relationships. suppress aggression for sake of harmony; fear of being alone/self)
<-->
distant (self-definition though knowledge, things. need clarity and open-mindedness, and "space"; fear of losing self through closeness)

traditional (self-definition stability keep status-quo; fear of lose control)
<-->
changing (self-definition change and gather attention; fear of being boring, fear of committed choice)

It's important to note that a close person can give themselves as distant or a changing person can give themselves as traditional, due to bad experiences. So the real self is being suppressed. But the desire for closeness or change is still existent.

This is so interesting because living arrangements with another cohabiting person can cause problematic dynamics. Especially polar opposites will have a hard time living in harmony. For example close and distant. Close person might suppress aggression or objections in response to distant person's suggestions, and suffer in the long run; while distant person might feel put at unese due to close person needs.
Same is true with traditional person being confronted with change person's desire to bring chaos into their stability.

Therefore I find that living together with a "not-polar-opposite" seems like the best solution.

I'm pretty sure I'm the distant type, because I strongly define myself through my knowledge. Maybe secondary traditional because I don't like change in my living arrangements, but distant is certainly more pronounced in my case.

...
There was a lot more, for example about colors and materials, but I'm not gonna talk about that because
A) I don't want to bore you guys to death, and
B) I haven't fully absorbed the information yet.

Good library visit.

Earthling
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27 Nov 2015, 7:04 pm

I'd like to play a game. You, dear reader, pretend that you're flirting with me.
Sounds like a fun game, no? :mrgreen:

Earthling
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27 Nov 2015, 8:51 pm

I'd like a nice smell, white fur carpet and proper lighting in this room.
Seriously, my lighting has been broken for now 10 years or so. It's not esthetically pleasing.

After having read that book at the library, I'm realizing that my living conditions (in the feng shui-y sense, not the fact that I have place to live. That's unconditionally great) are even worse than I thought.
Table directed at wall, mattress in front of window, nothing on the walls. My-oh-my, no wonder I'm not thrilled to get home for the sake of it.

Justeve
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27 Nov 2015, 10:10 pm

Earthling wrote:

I'd like to play a game. You, dear reader, pretend that you're flirting with me.
Sounds like a fun game, no? :mrgreen:

After seeing that leg, who could resist

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ImAnAspie
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28 Nov 2015, 3:16 am

Earthling wrote:

I'd like a nice smell... in this room

I believe the word you're looking for is 'aroma'. 'smell' sounds weird!

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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

Formally diagnosed in 2007.

Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.

Kiprobalhato
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28 Nov 2015, 3:53 am

Earthling wrote:

I'd like to play a game. You, dear reader, pretend that you're flirting with me.
Sounds like a fun game, no? :mrgreen:

(simulates flirting)

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וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.

Justeve
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28 Nov 2015, 4:51 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:

Earthling wrote:

I'd like to play a game. You, dear reader, pretend that you're flirting with me.
Sounds like a fun game, no? :mrgreen:

(simulates flirting)

Haha I had to look again, I thought you wrote stimulates flirting

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Kiprobalhato
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28 Nov 2015, 4:57 am

..that too!!

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Raleigh
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28 Nov 2015, 5:40 am

People keep nagging me about what I want to do/what I want for my birthday.
All I really want is 24 hrs of quiet, non-people-contact time.
But I can't tell them that, can I?
Can I?
*sigh*

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kazanscube
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28 Nov 2015, 10:28 am

A caterpillar in one's food, what is that suppose to mean? Oh well..

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