Talk like a pirate thread

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Aye, but me ship be scuttled in grief at losin' me mate. Be there a ship available? I've only this big chest o' pieces of eight....

This might not count, but I like it:

Ye dare to speak to me of blasphemy Starbuck? I'd strike the sun if it dare insulted me so...

Each thing in life be ye a pasteboard mask. It is the thing behind the mask that I chiefly hate.

It is a vile and villainous thing that has tortured men since time began.

The white whale is such a mask.

It tasks me. And I shalt let it task me.

For I would follow it around the horn...
And past the Norway Maelstrom
...
AND THROUGH PERDITION'S FLAME BEFORE I LET HIM GO!! !!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

'ere, me ol' hearty, mjs82...

'ave ye been at the rum?

and Mad Jack - bring them pieces o' eight over here, and i'll be finding ye a berth on me ship fer a few of 'em. an' i loiks the sound of yer big chest, too...

/me puts on her most attractive peg leg and hook.

Aye, that he has. An' good rum it is too, hic! I be seeing white whales, and pink whales, an' even a blue whale what everyone knows doesn't live in these parts.

*hics and gapes at Vetivert's peg-ankle*

*Mad Madame Morgan flutters her eyelashes (and her peg ankle) coquettishly at Drizzleman*

aaarrrrr! ye'll be a-wonderin' if this buccaneerin' beauty be up fer a little dallyin' on the high seas, i'll be bound. but it pains the very cockles o' my bones to tell ye that where a heart should lie, there's nothin' but cold steel in me chest, where a man did break it in twain, an' leave me for another wench.

but the tale 'as a happy endin', cos i blew off his jewels wi' me musket, when i found 'im.

yo ho ho.

*wags his tail and attempts to bark like a parrot*

*nods* 'tis sad, though you're lucky to've found a smith what could forge you a good new heart. Broken ones be a problem in a fight, what with not pumping the adren'lin quick enough.

...

*Mad Jack eyes the hook an strokes his beard*
Why, that be a right pretty peg ye got there, wench, and I'm wonderin what ye do with thet hook....
Arrrh!
I be bringin me chest aboard m'am, with yer permission. It were much bigger but there's a new ship bein built which I'll be namin' The Red Rover.
An' dinna listen ta th rumor that twas Capn Rover's gold. 'Es gone an I be buildin' a great vessel in 'is honor. I found that gold, I did, and by the pirate's code, it be mine now!

An' I'd sure be grateful for a sip o' thet rum...

*wiggles peg leg fetchingly*

ye'll drink all the rum ye can stand, me lad! (an' then ye'll be too beswazzled to notice me a-makin' off wi' yer chest o' gold).

nay, nay - i insist ye have another drop. and no more o' yer glavering.

(i said it first, i said it first, i get the lolly!)

Arrh!
Ye be a sight fer sore eyes and a balm fer me sore heart me dear. (ogles the peg leg)
Er, nother drop o' rum...
.
.
.
.
er...darlin, d'ye think there might be summat ye can...errrrr...........(snores with arm flung across the chest)

Arrr, rum, rum, rumdiddy rumdiddy rummm...

*giggles and swigs some more*

*suddenly turns green and rushes to the rails*

*retching sounds ensue*

har har! me evil plan worked!

now i have two of the most a-feared devils o' the sea at me tender mercy (of which i have none). now, where be me ol' pal Red Rover? i be needin' a hand wi' all this gold, an' two drunken pirates to be a-pushin' into the shark-infested brine? an' i be needin' ol' Rover to complete the set...

arrrrr!

*gets out small telescope and scours the horizon fer the Rover*

(Mad Jack talkin in 'is sleep)
zzzz....aye, man, i've 'eard Capn Rover be....zzzzz
.....temple......captive....zzzzz...heath'n god....zzzz....Angslan....(rolls over and drools in his beard).....Ehmermerbehem.....

arrrrrr! shiver me wossnames, swash me buckles and buggeration - i b'ain't messin' with them deity types.

it's so 'ard to get the stains out o' me bodice when i does...

Arrrr... the Vixen be on about buggery, again; what she think this is, the bloody Royal Navy?

Arrrr...