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I'm afraid that these alone time will disappear soon. If I had to belong to any group I might feel suicidal before long.
I'll cherish every moment of this solitary.

Well there is just parts of me that are so immature, I can't deal with being adult and adult relationships, I am lonely and I miss who I thought were my friends and it just hurts. I don't know what else to say but I am having the urge to jump out of my high rise and I am downtown in a moderately large city so it would hurt. Like ten floors plus kinda hurt. I have been hospitalized and I keep feeling worse but maybe its helping and I don't know it.

I just feel like I am trying to be an adult and in reality I have missed a lot of milestones as a child, teenager, etc. I mean I couldn't go to school cause of bullying and social skills and when you think about it, this has made my social skills worse and so on. I just miss my old church so much and they hurt me so bad, I don't where to stand with religion and God. This mixed with above and I feel truly lost.

I just went up to the local Chinese restaurant and had dinner by myself - in true introvert style.

All the cat experts say that when a cat walks sideways (crab walking I think they call it), they say cats do it because they're trying to make themselves look bigger and more fierce than they really are but I can tell you, they're wrong.

My boy and I have lived together now for a long time and:

a) he loves me, trusts me and has no need or intention of making himself look bigger or more fierce to me;
b) he does it when he's extremely happy and pleased to see me;
c) he never does it when he has the s**ts or is frightened! (which is when he would do it, if that's what they do)

He only does it when he's happy and pleased to see me. He's trying to rub against me - but just like when they scratch at the wall, trying to bury their poo, (Unfortunately) they're not real' bright when it comes to spacial stuff.
What he's trying to do is rub against something, to show his love, just like they love to rub against your leg, only, they do it to the air.

I'm not saying this is always the case. Maybe, sometimes they do do it to make themselves look bigger but in my experience, he's trying to rub against something to show his love. He only does it at times when he's pleased to see me and eventually, he gets it right and does rub against mt leg.

Cat body language experts have got it wrong. They can't read cats. I CAN read cats.


Pity I can't read human body language like I can read cat body language!

I say to him, "Want to play knuckles?" and we sit there, trying to swat each other's hands. Trying to see who can whack the top of the other's hand. If he hits the top of my hand, I say, "Good boy!" And if I hit the top of his hand (paw), I say, "Gotcha!". He loves that game! He never EVER uses his claws with me.

If he wants me to wake up in the mornings, he'll grab my foot that's hanging off the end of the bed. Never the claws! Just playful.

I say, "Want to play peek-a-boos?" and we spend the next 10 or 15 minutes stalking each other around the house, hiding behind doorways. He'll run off as soon as I say it and hide behind a doorway. I'll crouch down on the other side of the doorway and he'll pounce around at me. Then, I'll run off and crouch down behind a doorway and he'll stalk me.
Where at a point now where I don't even need to say, "Wanna play peek-a-boos". I'll just put my paws up like a cat, infront of my face and slink away backwards around a corner and he knows what I want to play - and he LOVES it. He knows what I want to play and he springs into action.



We play games together.

And when he's had enough, he'll just wander off somewhere and lie down and if I've had enough, I'll say, "No more peek-a-boos" and he knows it's over.

And sometimes (a lot of the times), he initiate peek-a-boos and we'll play but if I'm just home from work, I'll say, "Not now Boo. I'm too tired!" and he knows it's not going to happen.

Sometimes, he'll just give up and not bother but sometimes, he'll still try to get me to play and pounce on me.

He know's his name is BOO!

And he's smart. He knows how to communicate (everything) he wants to me, without words!

My ex-partner actually noted, he's become a Special Interest to me. I hadn't thought of it that way. I just thought we (Boo and I) super loved each other but after she mentioned it, she may not be wrong!

In fact, I'm certain she's right.

Boo can actually talk to me without words, purely through his entire body language - that I've learned through living entirely alone with him for so long!

"It's just me and Boo" - He's my baby boy!

My ex-partner actually noted, he's become a Special Interest to me. I hadn't thought of it that way. I just thought we (Boo and I) super loved each other but after she mentioned it, she may not be wrong!

In fact, I'm certain she's right.

Boo can actually talk to me without words, purely through his entire body language - that I've learned through living entirely alone with him for so long!

"It's just me and Boo" - He's my baby boy!

And he's learned a lot of the human language too, because I use certain (repeated) phrases with him and he knows what they mean! He's learned. He's smart. After all, he is a tabby!

He's a black classic tabby and white.

Did you know, how you tell a cat's true base colour is by the tip of their tail?!


Whatever the colour of the tip of their tail is, that's what colour cat they are!

My boy's tip of his tail is black, so he's actually a black cat - with classic tabby markings (the M on the forehead and the boy target/swirl) with whit on his chest (from his father, and all white cat).

None of you want to get into this? Ah, you're all boring! I'm going to bed!

No one ever talks to me on here. Why do I bother?!