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auntblabby, you're a youth of knowledge - or is that a fount - Meh. Either way, you provide good advice. You certainly have to me throughout the years.

thank you in the army they might say I was a yoot of knowledge.

Work today:
I hand a woman her change (a five dollar bill) and she asks "erhm, do you have anything stronger?"
Me - *Blank Stare* (What lady, like whiskey? Should I dip it in some whiskey for you? This is a museum, we don't have alcohol.)
Lady - "Well this one is just too soft and flimsy, can I have a crisper bill?"
Me - *OOOhh* (seriously?) "Uh, okay, sure."

Letter to my arse!

Dear arse,

Why do you want to work against me? We're part of the same animal. You make out like I'm busting to go and when I get there, you don't do anything.

Conversely, I'll get on a train and you make out like all is cool but once those doors shut (and the first stop isn't for ages), suddenly then you need to go URGENTLY.

Please, don't work against me. Work with me. We should be on the same team.

You tell me, you need to go, urgently, so I get up out of bed AT 1AM and go to my OUTSIDE toilet with the spiders and mozzies and then you decide to play silly buggers and decide you don't want to go anymore. Who's side are you on anyway? Your own? You can't be on your own side. You're my arse. Without me, you're nothing. Without me, you wouldn't exist.

Can we please get our act together and work on the same team? If you tell me you need to go, then please go. If you don't need to, then please don't play silly buggers pretending you need to. And no more horrible surprises.

After all. How can you have diarrhea and constipation at the same time? Are you insane? Are you an insane arse?

Please work with me. Not against me. After all, we're both on the same side. (Actually, I'm on the front and you're on the back... But we're still part of the same animal. Work with me. Not against me.


Yes, that's right. I wrote my arse a letter! He needed to be told!

^^^sounds to me like your donkey needs to have a good long chat with your stomach and intestines.

You're right auntblabby. Things just haven't been the same since I had my gall bladder removed either.

Also, I'm writing letters to my arse. Perhaps I ought to go back and see my psychiatrist again.

THE BODY PARTS MEETING TO DECIDE WHO IS IN CHARGE

The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The hands said: "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The stomach said: "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The legs said: "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

Then the rectum said: "I think I should be in charge."
All the rest of the parts said: YOU?! !
You don't do anything! You're not as important as we are, surely!
You can't be in charge!"

So the rectum stopped working...
After a few days, the legs were all wobbly,
the stomach was all queasy,
the hands were all shaky,
the eyes were all watery,
and the brain was all cloudy.

MORAL OF THE STORY

It only takes one a***hole to shut down a job and an a***hole is always in charge of everything.

Actually, I can understand that. And I detest ripped and crinkled notes too!

LOL

Glad to see you're alright Edna

I talk to my ass all the time also, telling it what a good ass it has been to me anyways, below is some useful info I found about your situation-

The gall bladder is the sac like organ that is used by the body to store bile that is prepared by the liver between meals. The gall bladder is located on the right side of the abdomen and just under the liver. Once the meal is completed, the gall bladder then pushes the bile stored by it into the intestine wherein the bile mixes with the fat and food. Bile is absolutely essential for the smooth functioning of the digestive tract as it helps in the digestion of fat and its movement from the intestine to the other parts of the body. Gall bladder removal surgery is required when the chemical balance of bile that is stored in the gall bladder is hampered which in turn makes the bile solid and form gall bladder stones. This surgery is also known as cholecystectomy.
After the surgery, once the gall bladder is removed, the bile that is prepared by the liver does not have any place to be stored in between meal and hence flows directly into the intestine to mix with the fat and food. Constipation, diarrhea, lowered heart rate and fatigue are common side effects post gall bladder surgery and are considered normal. diarrhea occurs on account of the change in the manner in which bile is transported to the intestine. However, the diarrhea is known to stop on its own once the body adjusts to not having a gall bladder. Constipation post surgery can be controlled and stopped by increasing the intake of fiber rich foods in one's daily diet. Fiber absorbs water and thereby speeds up the digestion process and creates soft excrement. Typical foods that are known to be rich in fiber are potatoes, whole grains, nuts, greens, peas and so on. Foods that should be avoided post gall bladder surgery include refined flour, junk foods, overly spicy food and the like. Some doctors also advise patients recovering from gall bladder surgery to go on a liquid diet as far as possible or to follow a diet that is rich in fiber, proteins but low in carbohydrates. Additionally, post gall bladder removal surgery, the individual should have short light meals during the day and not overeat so as to not put added pressure on the digestive system. Intake of fatty foods should be reduced whereas the intake of water and liquids should increase. Adequate rest and sleep are also essential for a complete recovery post gall bladder surgery.

Gallbladder removal surgery is at times necessary and unavoidable, but should be a last resort for good reason. The gallbladder plays an important role in the digestive process and stores the bile produced by the liver. When you consume food it releases this bile into the intestine to facilitate digestion. Bile is necessary as it helps in the absorption or digestion of fat from the intestine to the body. After the gallbladder is removed, bile produced in the liver can not be stored between and saved for meals. It has to be produced and utilized as and when needed. Whenever bile is produced by the liver it therefore gets released directly into the intestine. This means that there is bile in the intestines for the digestion and transfer of fat, but in a smaller quantity, which may prove inadequate for some diets.
Fat does not need to be eliminated and can still be digested but your intake must be restricted and controlled. Eating smaller meals with greater frequency (3 -4 times a day) instead of two large meals will help greatly as it eliminates the pressure that is placed on your digestive process from a large meal. Digestive issues like the constipation indigestion that you are facing are quite common post surgery and it should be no cause for alarm. Unrestricted fat intake after surgery could lead to diarrhea or bloating and puffiness. The amount of fat that your body can take however may vary slightly from patient to patient.
The most important measures that you can take to avoid indigestion or any other digestive disorder would therefore be to make the appropriate dietary modifications. More important than the foods you should consume are the ones you need to avoid. Make sure your diet does not include any fried foods, spicy foods, pastries, whole grain breads, baked beans, cereals, seeds, cabbage, broccoli, peanuts, and cauliflower.
On the other hand you can include skinned fish and chicken, eggs, skimmed milk, soups, salads, low fat cheese, yogurt, legumes, and grilled fish or chicken.
Keep in mind that it is important that you follow a diet that is low in carbohydrates and high in protein. For a short period following the surgery a liquid diet is advisable and if not feasible, you should at least consider following a semi-liquid diet. These of course should follow the nutritional guidelines of being non fatty and low in carbohydrates.

LOL - and true too!

Thank you auntblabby.

You know the strange thing? Before, I used to eat KFC like it was going out of fashion but ever since having my gall bladder removed, I can't even walk past a greasy fish and chip shop without feeling sick - just looking at all that greasy, fried food makes me feel sick.

I'm starting up my original recipe experiments again but if I eat it, I pay the price.
I'm more interested in cooking it than I am in eating it - and since the operation, my KFC consumption has decreased by like 1,000,000 percent.

They used to call me chicken man. Chickens used to shudder whenever I showed up at a chicken farm but since the op, I just can't (and don't want to) eat like I used to.

That's how I killed my gall bladder. Too much KFC and other greasy stuff. When the specialist/surgeon removed it, he told me it was like an empty plastic bag. The pain! ("Oh, the pain!") You would not believer the pain it caused me before the op!

prego I've always been shy about eating fatty stuff, since I saw what it did to my dad when I was little [multiple heart attacks and gall bladder attacks, he had to have his removed also and a drain installed. since then his digestion never was right again, but that was because he wouldn't give up the standard American diet full of fat and sugar even though he was diabetic also. but when he had his last gall bladder attack he said he thought he was having another heart attack in terms of the searing pain. later on, I worked in a hospital operating room and cholecystectomy [gall bladder removal] was the #1 surgery we did by numbers, it was my job to hand them their instruments and other supplies, and to cut open the excised gall bladder and extract the stones for counting. they were the size on average, of kernels of corn and a similar color but hard as a rock. some were the size of shooting marbles or even larger. I could see how that would smart something fierce stuck inside that little itty bitty sack. anyways, what is just as harmful as eating fatty stuff [in terms of gall stone production] is eating too many refined carbs which leads to an over-acidic condition of blood/body tissues which also leads to stone formation.

La la la la la! I'm grinning a lot because I'm in love. It's ridiculous, but it's true!