I don't care if I go there now or after 20 years of pain, living this life.
But I do know, whether you go by being hit by a truck or by heart attack, there is no escape out of this life that doesn't include pain, suffering and terror.
Drowning = terror, suffering and pain.
Heart attack = pain, terror (no one dies peacefully in their sleep - that's a fanciful nicety - If you have a massive coronary in the middle of the night, you're going to wake up to experience the sheer pain before you go) No one just dies of old age. That's also a nicety.
Hit by a truck = You're gonna see it coming and even if you don't, life has a cruel way of slowing dramatic events down in your experience so you know EXACTLY what's going on, and although you may not see it coming, you sure will feel it.
Aneurysm = one of the most slow and painful ways of going - and quite often slow, especially when your mind slows down horrific and terrifying events. You sure know about that bad baby.
Terminal Cancer (of any kind) = There's a protracted death that is not only painful and prolonged but all of your loved ones have to sit by helplessly and watch you slowly die.
Child Leukemia = The poor little buggers didn't even get a chance to sin. They're just dead.
Leukemia = See cancer (above)
Burning to death = That's just beyond words - Hopefully, the smoke will get you first and you'll pass out - but that's also a fanciful thing people tell people. Trust me. No matter how passed out you are from smoke inhalation, once those flames start lapping at your body, you're gonna wake up an experience the EXCRUCIATING PAIN of burning to death.
And many more. Stabbings, shootings, impalements, car accidents (bodies twisting with steel). The painful list goes on.
People like to sugar coat what happens to us when we die and I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news but it ain't gonna be pleasant.
NO ONE gets out pain free. THAT, I KNOW!
There is no God - because if there were, He MUST be a SADIST!
Although, in hindsight, people do say, "I'm a God fearing Christian!"
Why do they fear him?
Perhaps, I am right.
Think about it!
All I know is, no one gets off of this rock without experiencing pain and terror at that final moment!
When you feel your life running out, you panic. Even if you go a (considered) fast way, as I said (if you didn't read it before), life has a way of slowing down the horrible events so you get to experience them fully.
Ever had an accident where everything seemed to be going in slow motion? That's what happens in your final moments.
No matter how fast it may be in reality, in your mind and in your experience, the pain will seem to go on for an eternity.
THIS, I KNOW! - I'm sorry but it's in all of our futures.
I don't care where I go because the same thing happens to use all and we all go to the same place - Nowhere, I suspect. Same place as cockroaches and dogs go. We're not special. Not in any beings or entities eyes. As far as death goes, we're no different to bacteria. There's no special being looking out for us. That's just man's arrogance.
We all have to die, and that, I accept. I just didn't want the getting there to be painful. But alas, that's unavoidable!

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Your Aspie score: 151 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200
Formally diagnosed in 2007.
Learn the simple joy of being satisfied with little, rather than always wanting more.