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I just love the days when TV programing was more interesting and one's imagination had no real sense of boundaries

Grindcore is awesome! \m/ \m/

P.S.

I do have to use the same knife and fork every time. I have one of everything I use (plate, cup etc.) that way, I don't wind up with 10 million plates on the sink but I'm still in search for a nice single cutlery set.

I couldn't settle for a default WP image, so I've settled for a default WP character for my ever changing avatar.

El Nino with multiple storms, both for the coming past half a year.

Hm, now that I think about it, even if it rains, people still feel the heat.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I predict that there will be no more snow in the mountains in 50 years. Climate change is a very scary thing. Sea levels will start to rise around that same time.

From a book I'm reading. I couldn't have summed it up more succinctly if I tried:

"If you look up “alone” in a thesaurus, you’ll find a long list of negative and depressing synonyms: abandoned, companionless, deserted, desolate, detached, forlorn, forsaken, friendless, hermit, isolated, lonely, lonesome… Ironically, the times in my life that I’ve experienced this type of aloneness— the lonely, companionless isolation— I’ve nearly always been surrounded by people.

Yet, when I’m alone, I rarely feel lonely. If I were writing the thesaurus entries for alone, the synonyms would include: authentic, free, individual, indulgent, open, peaceful, protected, pure, quiet, rejuvenating, solitary. Thanks to the amount of time I spend alone, I’m on intimate terms with myself. I have a running internal dialogue that informs my life, my writing , my relationships. I observe and absorb the world around me. I’m good at being alone. The sense of inner security this creates is one of the hidden gifts of Asperger’s."

I feel the most peaceful and mellow when I'm alone.

alone, when a friend of a friend ask the ex if i am going....to do what is custom/agreed on
bleeh
general, you do 100x what they want, but the 101th time when you explain it's different for THIS reason, they don't want to know
and another 10km rant
but you can't trust no one, especially those who want to think themself supportive, they have the nails in one pocket and the hammer in another

to succeed one needs a big dose of narcissm, doing something (for someone eg) without song and dance about it, not only isn't counted but rather found suspicious, as if your stealing something

Wow what a dick, my brother removed me from his steam. f**k him, I just blocked him; I have been more civil to him that what he deserves and then he is removes me. Nice, I hope he dies in a fire. I never wanted him on my steam anyway.

I am so pissed, I am seeing red.

I want to damage something...

How dare my brother spit what little relationship I offered him back in my face, he doesn't deserve anything from me.

God I swear I am so close to just saying F family and everyone here and getting on the first plane to the great state of Colorado. I don't deserve this crap and I am tired of it.

s**t I might set out tonight,

Burn everything from this life and start over, just straight up abandon everything and run away. There is nothing from this crappy life I want.

Damn I feel a huge sense of betrayal, I swear I don't even want a family anymore.

I don't know what to do, I am overwhelmed with mixed emotions.

Maybe I am horrible person and I deserve my brothers repeated abuse and his ability to make me feel less then dirt.

uiashfdiuahfkaufhlkshfzdilskdjfh... F... me...

I need my brain to work for a minute, I am going to breath slowly and beat the hell out of a broken laptop with a hammer (Its LCD is in one piece but not for long).