Today I Learned

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My dad, the one who taught me to look both ways before I cross the street, is a jaywalker. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him crossing the store parking lot. I'm never going to shut up about this, am I?

That there is such thing as chronic fight mode.
Closest thing I can resonate with the lifetime of dysregulated self.

Kinda explains why some aspects of CPTSD resonated; turns out that it's only half of picture -- most online spaces emphasized around flee, freeze, fawn...

Almost never found a space for fight.
I just had to found it too late.

The entries; in which an online space full of violent thoughts and trajectories, just like my younger selves have.

That indeed, I tried to make mine home.
That I did it alone. And got out truly alone.



What is not new and not something that I learned today?

Having solutions or that the problems solved itself BEFORE finding the most straight forward sources that would've been needed years before.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Apparently the difference between immigrate & emigrate is not as well-known as I'd thought. As in, they don't seem to notice the difference in meaning nor pronunciation.

I don't need energy drinks to celebrate holidays anymore.

That reputation is everything. At least in my case anyway. If I feel like my reputation is damaged by an error or a stupid impulsive mistake I made, then I begin thinking that the people involved are plotting a vendetta against me, like trying to egg me on or catch me out. So that is why reputation is important to me, and to most people really.

Realized my PTSD triggers can put me in undesireable conditions/situations. sometimes due to my own over reactions .
But honestly most often those times when it has gotten triggered at lower levels, Has often kept me out of trouble.
" If someone tells you they are not all out to get you ! Doesn't mean that someone isn't " ....
And its a blessing to be able to tell the difference .
Living with PTSD doesn't mean it has to control your life.

That a clementine is a fruit. All this time I thought it was a flower.

A group of teens in London, Ontario, Canada, created a board game that is satire of Trump's 2nd presidency called "American Dictator".

I thought the "questionable choices" cards that come with the game kind of interesting. One of them said "You stare directly into a solar eclipse. Pay $50 for eye doctor". Other than that it looked like another Monopoly-type game, which would be very boring to me.

How different I sound when I'm sick. I sound almost British instead of like my usual self. I don't have the drive to speak with the authority that I usually speak with.

It did not know what the Routemaster was.

There are times that God wants me to slow down and appreciate the things that I have. That's why I get sick from time to time.

I learned that the McVities biscuit factory in Heaton Chapel, Greater Manchester, produces more than 2000 Jaffa Cakes per minute.

Being in my own little country while at the tail end of my cold might not be such a good idea. It's better to be with people.

This was yesterday, but I found out there was a British children's stop-motion animation program called Tottie: The Story of a Doll's House. And it's... dark.

*contains spoilers*

It's based off a book written in 1947. It's about a small, cheap wooden doll named Tottie who is over 100 years old, and her motley crew doll family, such as Mr. Plantaganet, who was once a traditional Scottish doll in Highland clothing, but the children who once owned him ripped off his clothes and let their puppy chew up his leg. He now acts very timid and probably has PTSD from the abuse, not unlike the WWII soldiers during the time the author wrote the story. His wife, he mostly just sits around, reading his newspaper and worrying a lot. His wife, Birdie, is a cheap celluloid doll that was found in a Christmas cracker, and she seems to have intellectual disabilities or a mental disorder of some kind. She's nearly always happy and singing, but she's pretty annoying. And they have a son named Apple, who is a small plush toddler doll who is also pretty annoying and likes to fall down stairs. And a toy dog who is also annoying. The dolls later get a dollhouse to live that happens to be the same one Tottie lived in many years ago, but they have to share it with a rude and nasty china doll named Marchpane, and then she lights up one of the dollhouse lamps and puts Apple in danger. In spite of her fear of fire, Birdie runs into the room and saves Apple, but being made of celluloid she burns up immediately. The two girls decided they didn't like Marchpane so they sent her to a museum. You'd think being locked up in a museum where kids aren't allowed to play with her would be karma for Marchpane, but she didn't mind it at all. She enjoyed being admired without being touched, and it only made her more narcissistic. Meanwhile Tottie and the other dolls seemed only to be sad about the death of Birdie for a very short time, if at all, and Tottie even admitted Birdie looked beautiful in the flame.

Yeah, I saw a video about the show where it was basically ripped apart by the YouTuber, and even though it seemed somewhat like dark and edgy version of Toy Story, it apparently was very slow and boring when it wasn't being disturbing. And there's a second series of the show, which I'm hoping I'll be able to check out soon.