Explain user name and avatar, please

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my name is to do with the meaning of my real life name. my real name is Benjamin which means: child of my right hand, hence right-hand-child.

as for the avatar, it would be difficult to explain if you didnt know the actual character it was. he's the leader of some gang in a game i play who is outwardly aggressive but a helpfull person in truth, and i suppose i can relate to the latter

Love cats. Love trackie dacks.

what're dacks?

Would that game happen to be Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor?

my avatar is the robot on an old TV series called "lost in space"

i very much identified with the robot when i was a small child and watched reruns of that series in the late 70's and early 80's.

i had no other role models. i never identified with anyone at all except for the robot who i could understand.

his voice soothed me and his attitude seemed relevant to me.
other kids in the playground at school pretended that they were various people like superman or a policeman or a fireman etc. i never wanted to play with them because i did not identify with their adopted personages.
there was a short period of about 1 year where i did play with them, and i pretended i was the robot, but it never really worked.
other kids had real (ish) characters as their pretend personages and i had the sterile robot as mine. i retracted my arms as far as i could into my sleeves and spoke in the same voice (in my mind it was the same) as the robot and i said things that were as detached from human personality as i knew the robot would say.
i felt stronger than the other kids because i had a potential 40,000 volt charge that i could zap them with if i needed to (which i never employed because i knew in reality i did not have that kind of power, and i did not want to crush my imaginary world).

after a while i lost interest because my imaginary persona was very stunted compared to the other kids.
i shuffled along like the robot on tracks, and i did not listen to the other kids banter as the robot did not listen to the humans much in lost in space. i just made weather observations and other unrelated types of observations that were irrelevant to their play, so i retreated to my own part of the ground and played by myself.

the closest i ever came to integrating socially with anyone was with the guise of the robot. it did not wash, and it mirrored the case with the robot on lost in space who was always seen as just a machine by the humans in the series.

the robot on lost in space had no name except in one episode where he identified himself as "an environmental assessment unit model B9" to an alien who demanded to know his model number.

the humans always called him "robot" and they never called him by his real name because they did not care because he was just a machine.

the robot was never mentioned in the closing credits of any show where every cast members real name was shown.

that is the explanation for my avatar and avatar name. i will never change it because i am still the child in the playground who wanted to play but realized i could not because i am just a machine in a way.

aww thats cute

I felt the urge to google it and stumbled upon the defintition.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... acky+Dacks

ahh thank you. i was too lazy to look it up myself. in canada tracky dacks are largely worn by cool young people and the older set. i fall in the middle, so i am not so hip with the lingo.

I still haven't given up hope that someday I will grow into a beautiful swan. Perhaps at my age this is unrealistic, but a person can always dream.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHSD0tR2IOU&feature=search[/youtube]