Talk like a pirate thread

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arrrr! me fartherrr was a-shiverin' of 'is timberrrrs in the Royal Navy afore i was even born.

it must run in the blood, so it must.

Arrrr... rattle me rowlocks, that were nowt! Me farther's farrtherr's farrrtherrr were shiverin 'is timbers with the ancient mariner himself.

That he were; 'tis true to be sure.

Bleedin' albatrosses...

pah! MY farther's farther's farther's (x10) nephew WAS the ancient mariner. so there!

anyway, my mother be the kraken, so stick that in yer pipe and smoke it!

*watches, as pipe and head explode, due to the gunpowder cunningly mixed with the tobacco, earlier on*

(Mad Jack awakens)

Arrrh! Wha be this wet stuff? (tastes) Ah, a bit o meat! Darlin, war did ye find fresh meat? (feels for his chest)
..............AAARRRRRH! Me chest o' gold be gone! Where be the scurvy bilge suckin' wretch what took me treasure?

(Draws sword)

Whar be...(staggers)...whar...be...(slips on the wet deck and conks head on the chest)

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh................(snores)

(Mad Jack starts talkin in 'is sleep):

Arrrh, take that ye aphids! Errr, what wud they be thinkin if they knew ol' Mad Jack 'ad a garden? There, there, me precious...arrrh, oi loves me yellow roses, I do. Aye, and the fragrance be attractin all sarts a pretty little flowers fer Jack....(snores).

OI!
(Capn Jack wakes up)
Arrrgh....oi! Whar's me chest? (sits up)
! !! !
Gor blast the blasted - whar's the ship!? (Flails about in the water)
Dad blast that wench! Trew me overboard, she did, an' stole 'me gold!
(grabs onto some debris)
Arrrgh! I'll git ye, scurvy wench! An' I were about to gi' ye my mos' lov'ly gif.
Urrrrrh. (starts paddling)
Just wait, wench, I'll make ye sorry ye ever tangled wi' th' likes o' Mad Jack....

Albatross? Why lookst thou so - with my crossbow, I shot the blaggard. No more bird droppin's in me rum, thankee.

*retches over the rails some more* what was in this rum o' yourn?

(sights ship on the horizon)

Arrrh!
Thar be a ship! Too many days afloat, I been. What I'd give for a drop o' rum...

(starts paddling again)

/me drops the rum...

Arrrh! A bottle! Be it a message?

Oi! a bottle o' rum!
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Er, 'ow'd thet get ha' empty?
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Ahoy there! Per...mish...er...Persh...mi...mish....
..Ahoy! can I come aboard there?

AHOY!


Hey there!

...mush....be...ghost....ship.....

(drops empty bottle)

/me calls down

"Nope, not a ghost ship, we's just all hung over like."

/me retches some more

"Uh, watch out below..."

Ey!
don be pourin water on, me...I be awake...and...
Oy! Tha's na water!
(spluttering)
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'aul me aboard, wud ye? All's for...fro...fer...arrh!
No 'ard feelin's, then...jus' 'aul me up!

/me watches the boys play, with a secretive yet evil smile on her lips. if only they knew...

(falls on the deck)
lea' me out i' th sun ta dry, boys, but gi' me rum ta wet me throat!
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(snores)

sighs...

never fails...

Arrh!
Oi be goin over ta th grand line!
One Piece tonight!