Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

Post Reply New Topic

Well, so far, I'm disappointing everyone in my life. I realized I knew little about my boyfriend, and I didn't pick up an important phone call from my mom. My cousin is having her 1st communion, which I probably won't go to, because I'm scared I'll disappoint everyone there as well.

Nothing

Been sick for the past few days, I just wish it would go away.

my feet are going nuts, I haven't slept at all last night yet I cant seem to go to sleep now even though I am tiered. and I am expecting the landlord to come snooping around soon since the downstairs tenet suddenly and with little warning moved out which gives me little time to do anything, and my place is a disaster right now.

Nothing!

I found out that my hours at work have been cut back severely. I'm seriously considering finding another job.

i spent an hour this morning looking for my crooked, loose, dirty glasses.
finally found them in my dad's car.

Should I go on a rant?
My dad's caught a cold during allergy season. He coughs, he sneezes, and the frequency is enough for my misophonia to drive me insane. The guy drinks a lot and we are nearing the anniversary of grandma's death and he never shuts up when he's drunk. I spend more than half the day trapped in my room hoping for him to go to sleep or go to work. As if life at home isn't bad enough, my escape is also being tampered with. The more I try to defeat a real life enemy, the more they try harder to get around and take everything I've got. Copyfraud has been a pain in my ****ing a** for way too ****ING LONG. The Orchard Music group? These copyfrauders really want to monetize off of my YouTube videos that badly after I've defeated so many. The more I fight them, the more they want to beat me. THEY KEEP COMING and I don't know how to stop them. I'm at my mental energy limits with this fight. I even sent Gabe Newell an email after they got two of my Portal videos and no reply. I put every video I had set to private in hope that things will blow over faster without anymore escalation. I can't take much more of this heavy weather. I'm completely drained. I have no further motivation to continue my YouTube hobby. I'm...I'm dying. The stress is too much. 2013 was hard enough. 2013 nearly drove my family into financial devastation and almost over the cliff of insanity forcing me to give up college. I will not allow a repeat of any kind. Sadly, I'm not in control of what happens within my life nor outside my life (like stuff happening far away but some of it still affects me just the same) and I don't know what is. All I know is that the RNG of my life's events is rigged. Because of this, I can see the 4th wall in life. I don't like it when I look at it, but it's there in my face every time I go through adversity for the millionth time and the day is not even over yet. The 4th wall in life has allowed me to study reality and how it works like a puzzle that automatically resets itself just when you think you've figured it out but haven't. Unable to escape, I face reality. I hate reality and reality hates me even more.

I would give anything...ANYTHING I could for a light at the end.

The loneliness is unbearable, and the horrible- lifestyle I find amazing to have withstood for a couple of years or more. Luckily there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'll be able to see family, friends, and women soon enough. Unbearable...

Just got into a bit of an argument with my friend's mother about the career path I'm taking. She wants me to go back to school and take some correspondence courses, and I tried explaining to her that correspondence courses simply don't work for me. She chalks it up to a lack of "self-discipline", and acts like it's something I can develop overnight. I eventually hammered down the point that going back to school isn't in the cards for me at the moment, and that I just need to get a decent job with steady hours and pay, but I still don't think she understands that my problems with correspondence courses have to do with more than a lack of self-discipline. I could definitely use more self-discipline, though if the amount of time it took for me to get my first job is any indication, it's going to be a long-ass time before I can reliably do courses outside of a "classroom" environment. I suspect my executive functioning deficits have something to do with this.

I just want to repair PCs, I don't want to take a f*****g computer science course where they teach us to design microprocessors or write code.

Nothing

My smoke bowl ranith empty of green stuff, and I cant seem to get it refilled any time soon.

It's already 7:07 in the evening and I haven't done anything productive all day. I'm fairly certain I have to go to work tomorrow as well.

nothing

My lack of energy and inability to get quality sleep.

Woke up first thing in the morning to study and instead spent an hour and a half troubleshooting Firefox. Gave up and moved to Opera for now.