Always had trouble coming to terms with this?

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In my family we have a lot of friends (friends of the family). I get along with all my parents friends very well but there is this one women who dosen't really care much for me or acts that friendly to me (even though her husband is my godfarther). She's a bit of an alcholic and drinks loads as well but this probably has nothing to do with it. She's really nice to my parents and my brother but in a way she has always seems to give me the cold shoulder. I will admit though in 2001 I did accidently injure her son by dropping something on his leg and apprently she was furious about it. About 2 years ago I rang her up to thank her for a birthday card she and her husband sent me (even though it was late). I rang her up to thank her for the card and she was unfriendly to me then as well. Heck I even get her an autograhp from one of her favourite celebrities and she was still ungrateful.

I even met this womens mother and she was very friendly to me so its a mystery why this women does not care much for me? I have aspgers and this can come into play but do you think there is a reeason why she is not that friendly to me? I haven't seen her in 2 years but if I do see her again is their anything I can do to make her like me more?

I do have aspgers but I don't think this has anything to do with the way she treats me?

Why do you need her to like you?

I don't know becuase she is like nice to my parents and my brother except me. It just confuses me and I wan't to be accepted as well.

You don't need acceptance from her. Collect it somewhere else!

You could try asking her about it. Like, "You don't seem to like me very much. Have I done something to offend you?"

Thanks Kenjuddo but can you give me a bit more depth into that answer if thats okay

The problem with having aspgergers is that these kind of issues play on your mind and other people just let it wash over thier heads.

Last edited by Jamesy on 05 Jun 2009, 2:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ariel I just don't think we have ever made a great connection. Its not that she hates me its just that we have never gotten a long extremely well and she dosen't really look out for me as much as some other of my parents friends in the family. I have done loads of nice things for this lady as well but she ain't grateful at all. It gets me a bit annoyed

I would be suprised if she still bared a grudge against me for accidently dropping an object on her sons leg 8 years ago.

I am disapointed I thought I would get more answers to this question

That's perfectly correct. Which is why you need to stop spending much time on trying to be liked all the time. Other people might have completely different ideas about the whole situation for what you know. Seen from their perspective, they probably don't even see the-/their problem at all. Spend more time with people you're comfortable with!

The fact that you get along great with everyone else is awesome. You know that not everyone you meet, you'll bond with. It seems like she is one of those people. So continue to be nice to her and if she remains cold, it's her loss. Chances are that if she is truly an alcoholic, she's got a lot of issues she's dealing with anyway.

Sometimes there isn't a concrete reason why two people don't click.

You can try to spark up more personal conversations to try and connect with. If she feels she knows you better as a person, she has to respect you more. Since you have AS there's sure to be some misconceptions or misunderstanding of some of your behavior or expression, and having a more personal talk may also provide her with some understanding, too.

I think what ariel suggested is good if you can't think of something to say. It might be too direct though...

If that doesn't work then pretty much the only thing you can do is let it be.

I had this happen to me once before and I'm NT. I even asked the woman in question if there was something I was doing that was bugging her and she said no, she didn't dislike me. We never fought but we never got along either. It sounds like it's just between you and her so accept it and move on. There will always be somebody you don't click with for some unknown reason that you will just never get a logical answer to. On the plus side, there are all those other people you get along with fine so it's not like it's her or nobody.
It may be something that has nothing to do with you really. Maybe yopu subconsciously remind her of somebody who hurt her when she was 3 or something else that has nothing to do with you personally. Enjoy all the other people you already get along with and let it go.

I

Last edited by Janissy on 05 Jun 2009, 4:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.

oops triple post

I think its rude though that even when I got her an autograph from one of her favourite celebrites she dosen't even properly thank me for it or when I ring her up to thank her for a 'late' birthday card she dosen't act friendly to me on the phone either. Maybe its all in my head?

It may be rude, and it may not be right, but there's nothing you can do to change it. So if I were you, I would just go on your way.