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ZEGH8578
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14 Mar 2009, 2:04 am

here is my classification of farts:

The Thunderfart: the obvious, the rumbling loud one. A onomatopoetic translation would be something like "TR-R-R-R-RUMP". If you are seated, this fart vibrates down, through the furniture, and into the floor. It has an exiting power great enough to slightly widen the anus, the way a good solid turd does. I find this a _very_ satisfying fart, especially cus its airy and clean, and safe to push a little extra.

The "Oink": this is a shortened version of the thunderfart, it contains less gas, and is therefore less long lasting, and less rumbling, but still has a good and loud sound. This fart can also safely be pushed out, for more noise.

The sigh: this is the boring fart. i dislike these. theyre warm and stinky, and theyre no fun to fart. they just slide out of your ass without even trying to make a spectacle. the benefit, however, with this kind of fart, is that it draws less attention to you, if you can sneak out of the stink's way.

The "fake-foam-fart": my worst enemy. every since i was a kid, this fart will make me insecure about wether or not i have pooped myself. i haven't, but it never fails: it creates a wet and foamy sensation in the anus on exit, and often the wet foamy feeling remains in there. i have more than once gone off to check, just to be sure, and its all nice and dry down there.
these farts really mess me up.

The whistle: as the name implies, this one squeaks on its way out. i have only experienced this type of fart while pooping, so it must be something to do with how clenched your butt-cheeks are.

BONUS: the in-and-out-fart. this is a trick me and my brother tought ourselves as kids, and that we tought on to our friends later, this is how you do it:
lay down on your stomach, and poke your butt right into the air. now, in this position, your butt should be in a naturally opened stage - not spread - but not as clenched as when your walking or sitting. the clue is, you fart out, then do the "stop-peeing" muscle movement (both boys and girls have this muscle) and this will suck air back into your anus, so you can fart again and again. awesome fun for birthday parties, confirmations and bar-mitzwas.



velodog
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14 Mar 2009, 8:01 am

:lol: Interesting observations and qite funny.



b9
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14 Mar 2009, 8:07 am

disgustingly funny.
i do not have much bowel gas and i can not physically identify with your descriptions, but they were entertaining in a sick way to read.



Metalwolf
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14 Mar 2009, 11:51 am

Wow, that is quite fascinating 8O


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anna-banana
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14 Mar 2009, 12:05 pm

:lmao:


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jamesp420
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14 Mar 2009, 12:10 pm

That's..uhh..interesting. lol I might try that in and out thing haha.


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Social_Fantom
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14 Mar 2009, 12:24 pm

:lmao:

I don't care how old you are, farts are always funny!! :lol:


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ZEGH8578
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14 Mar 2009, 12:38 pm

Social_Fantom wrote:
:lmao:

I don't care how old you are, farts are always funny!! :lol:


thats why kids learn the humoristic value of farts from their dads ;]



Social_Fantom
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14 Mar 2009, 2:57 pm

I learned mine from dad and Ren and Stimpy. :lol:


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richie
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14 Mar 2009, 3:11 pm

Just don't do it very important meetings....Image

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbDoPD3HgnE&feature=channel_page[/youtube]


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IdahoRose
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14 Mar 2009, 4:09 pm

Social_Fantom wrote:
:lmao:

I don't care how old you are, farts are always funny!! :lol:


Yup.



ZEGH8578
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14 Mar 2009, 4:27 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
Social_Fantom wrote:
:lmao:

I don't care how old you are, farts are always funny!! :lol:


Yup.


*prrrrrtz*



Fogman
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14 Mar 2009, 5:55 pm

Q: Why do farts smell???????






















































A: So deaf people can enjoy them too. :D


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ZEGH8578
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14 Mar 2009, 6:01 pm

Fogman wrote:
Q: Why do farts smell???????







A: So deaf people can enjoy them too. :D


:D

my dad ACTUALLY farted in the elevator during a GAS LEAK EVAKUATION!! ! :D


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StewartMango
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14 May 2009, 3:51 pm

I made my own little fart Video:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=381hETZTHLE[/youtube]
ENJOY!! ! :D


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KingdomOfRats
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14 May 2009, 4:07 pm

farts dont sound as good when they're forced.


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