Is this an odd outlook on kids?

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Ok, so babies....No. I do not want a baby. I am awkward with them. They aren't very cute. They quite frankly repulse me. Toddlers are slightly better, but still not my thing at all.
But I want a family...I want to see beautiful children that are half my lover and half me. I want to raise kids who will become wonderful people. I want to do what my parents didnt do for me for them. the idea of kids who are like, 10 and up seem appealing. i want a family.

whats up with this? am i into some romanticized idea? or is this normal? anyone else feel this way? i hope my outlook changes on babies...but not too much. i would like to get through it and do a good job, but i dont want to become obsessed with a baby, people like that are terrible company.

Hi Spazz.

BTW - I like the new Avatar picture thingy.

As for your question. Is this odd?

Yes it is, but that's okay. Your outlook is the way you feel. The way you feel is the way you feel. There is no judgment in my saying that it is "odd" - I am being quite neutral. I use the term "odd" in that it is deviating from what most people feel. No judgment.

I have two children. They looked like little tomatoes when they were born (they were C-section so at least they weren't coneheads LOL!! !!).

Babies only start really looking cute after about five months. They start being fun at about 1 year.

They are a lot of work, but they also bring much joy.

If you were to have children with your lover, I would recommend you both having really good jobs that pay well. This way you can hire some nanny staff to help with the baby until they are older and easier to manage on your own. You will no doubt love your offspring (even when they look like tomatoes), but you might need extra support. Having a live in nanny and another support nanny to take over on the live-in's days off and vacation would be helpful for you. You would then be able to spend quality time with the baby without being overwhelmed. As the child gets older (e.g. goes to school), you can have a part time support person.

As for the comment about being "obsessed with a baby" - when you have a baby - it does take a lot of time and effort and a parents world will kind of revolve around the baby/child for a few years at least. However, remember that people go through ages and stages. You are not involved with the same interests and activities that you did when you were a small child. As a teen, your interests have no doubt changed.

When I was single and living alone, my priorities were work, volunteering and seeing how many different types of wine I could taste (I used to go to wine festivals and tastings ). After having kids, I am working only part time (on call), my volunteering is helping out at the mum-tot drop in center and I have not bought a bottle of wine for months ! ! To my old, working, community active, wine tasting self - the current me would be "terrible company" LOL

Having said all of that, I am neither encouraging you nor discouraging you to have children. Both options are good. We need parents in society and we need people without kids in society (somebody has to work, volunteer and drink the wine!! !). If you choose not to have kids, you won't have the 1/2 you and 1/2 lover combo walking about, but you could still be a wonderful influence on children and young teens.. You can be a volunteer tutor, you can be a volunteer reader to a child who has no one to read to them, you can lead Girl Scouts/Guides, Boys and Girls Clubs, youth clubs, etc. You can financially support a Foster Child through World Vision. You can be an "auntie" to a younger member of your extended family. There are many ways to be part of a "family" without having children yourself.

In any event - you have lots of time to think about things. Don't worry about your feelings being different from the perceived "norm" - we are all individuals and, as long as your feelings don't hurt anyone else - your feelings are perfectly fine.

I dont think it's odd at all. I think in a similar way. I would love to have a kid minus all the annoyances of infant/toddler growth. I always kind of joke around that I would love to adopt an 18 year old kid whose already been awarded a Yale scholarship lol. But as it stands, it's a risk I'm not willing to take =P.

I don't think you have an odd outlook on children Spazzergasm, everyone has their own feeling on them. Funnily enough, mine is actually the opposite of yours. I like children when they are babies/toddlers as I find them cute and amusing. Anything over the age of 10 or teenagers are an absolute nightmare in my opinion. I tell you what, I'll have the babies, raise them, then when they turn 10 you can have them

I heard this on Scrubs,

"Having a baby is like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk"

I've found that to be true.

I feel that all children are precious gifts from God.