The joke thread

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Share your favorite random jokes, comedy, anything funny

Last edited by roadracer on 05 Feb 2010, 2:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

You might be a redneck if...
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh4pPdkrlqw[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRx90mOXS7Q[/youtube]

"and I hope your mother dies in a freak yachting accident..."

Ok this is a true story of conversations with the autistic hearing impaired (me)

when I was 8 years old, and my sister was 6 months old, we were at a day care center. A big storm came out of nowhere, and the adults were scampering around getting us all to roll into a ball like a rolly polly against the wall.
Well there was a really loud sound (sounded like a train without a whistle), and then there was a ripping sound...First I asked the lady...where is my sister? she said she is okay on the other wall with the babies. Then I asked, what is going on? Well between the noise and my hearing loss...I heard her say. It is a tomato. (no sp there either). Well I survived the "tomato" although it did take the roof off. And my parrents where scared stupid. well anyway, I went to school the next day and during show and tell...I told the class how the big tomato took the roof off of the daycare I was at!! ! For some reason, the class did not believe me. But it happened...I was there..

^^, I have seen the monster tomato, he looks something like this, lol
http://www.tomatotour.org/tom1_467.gif

I think the peanut blooper in this video is so hilarious
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVg2dQBi-wU[/youtube]

here is the full peanut blooper (dont know what the thing is supposed to be? looks like a peanut)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izet8zN1vmE[/youtube]

I realize some do not really like this sort of over the top silliness but hey.... I do.... a lot.

~A bit of Fry and Laurie~
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2un9rO2ZF4g[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-71nL9I5gqw[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNoS2BU6bbQ[/youtube]

The Mr Nipple one is hilarious

- I'm calling to say that my child won't be able to go to school today.
- Aww, that's too bad. And to whom am I talking to?
- This is my mother!

roadracer....there it is! the tomato that ate the roof of the daycare center! Ohhh you are my hero...

Never seen it on TV myself.. (.. for I do not like to watch commercials).. but for some reason this commercial got banned here. Well, I think it's quite hilarious....
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKAW96N-Vms[/youtube]

Oink.... how can this not be a successful thread, I wonder.

Well, I persist!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl461mVrMFo[/youtube]

maybe there is another thread like this, idk

anyway, here are a couple of my alltime favorites

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpCVrzVr97M[/youtube]

from what I think is the funiest movie ever
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7v0eth4XAM&feature=related[/youtube]

Oh no! The car behind me is a Toyota!

Don't hit the brakes, Tallyman!

Um, same you cannot watch the videos.... for I think you'd like 'A bit of Fry and Laurie' also. I totally laugh out loud viewing 'the blooper'. Every single time.

How many supervisors does it take to change a light bulb? None...they're too busy trying to change their employees.