joining the army during the reagan recession [1983] was #1 on my list of things never to do, but i got tired of being homeless after being laid-off for months and losing my apartment, so reluctantly i signed on the dotted line.
the recruiter didn't deliberately deceive me, though he did underplay lots of things, like how drill instructors get in your face and expectorate as they curse your ancestors and lack of decendants, and don't you dare wipe off the spittle, as recruits are required to "maintain the position of attention" - how you will get arthritis years before your time from the thousands of punitive push-ups you are made to do on the filthy ground - how if you "bolo-out" or "screw the pooch" you are made to "recycle" through the months of basic/boot training yet again, until either you pass [uncle sam has to get its $$$$$ worth out of you for training you] or get so f*cked-up from the accumulated physical and mental abuse that you are worthless to them and they give you the boot. out of my basic training company of 120 recruits, there were fewer than 90 remaining 8 weeks later. [note: basic is longer nowadays than when i was active]
i truly had no business being in the military- i was called "a civilian in disguise." the drills didn't tolerate having to repeat instructions no matter how much they mangled them by rushing through them. they were always in a hurry. "lead, follow or get the hell out of the way!" they would say. they tried to penalize me for having a damaged m-16 after part of the stock was crushed from the drill throwing it down on the ground- he aimed for me but i jumped backwards out of the way, he was mad 'cause i got an answer wrong. luckily for me the company armorer bravely said the drill did it.
i stood a head taller than anybody else in the unit so i could not be inconspicuous, no matter how i tried. one of my legs is an inch shorter than the other, so when i was made to march during drill and ceremony, i would bounce. this looked bad in formation, so the drills sent me to KP [washing dishes] an awful lot. at least there i got to eat, otherwise we were starved not for lack of food but for being given the bum's rush out of the mess hall to make room for other platoons. out on bivouac [field training] uneaten food [never offered to us recruits] was thrown in the trash, which out of sight of the drills we raided and ate from, ravenous with hunger. i entered basic standing a shade under 6'4" and 180 pounds, but after 8 weeks i weighed less than 150. this experience gave me a food-wolfing habit which i didn't kick until middle-age and middle-aged spread.
on the range, i was too near-sighted to properly fire my weapon at a target 150 yards away which i couldn't really see, but i squeaked-by anyways. my main problem was i could not repeat an answer or perform an action perfectly, there was always something wrong, and in the army it is strictly "go/no-go"- but fortunately for me there were worse f*ck-ups which distracted the drills' attention away from my own f*ck-ups, otherwise i am sure i would have failed along with them.
in permanent party [final duty station after training] i found that i was not popular due to the fact that there was a female recruit in-training who was expected to be picked for permanent party but instead i was selected. she was a white gal and they were black men- i was the only white male face in my unit. you can guess why they wanted her. so i was scapegoated for this, and because i was the wrong color, and my social awkwardness was a big turn-off also. whenever i entered a room the folk there would go silent and stare at me. when i left i listened through the door and heard all manner of calumny at my expense.
living in open-bay barracks was its own challenge. no privacy. ridiculous "spit and polish" inspections in front of an open wall locker arranged per diagram. formations, guard duty, charge of quarters duty, kp duty = no free-time. i put up with this for 4 long and lonely years, and when i got out i never looked back.
it was the worst mistake of my life to join.
21 Feb 2010, 8:31 am
