why men make excuses for why they cant marry?

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i want to know why are men so afraid of commitment. and is this just a nt thing are can it also be a non nt thing, and what to do about a man that just not ready.


for example i'm pretty old i'm 20 and my boyfriend is 21 i know he loves me but i don't get it why do he say were too young, we don't have our own place so i wonder what the excuses would be once we get our own. i'm sure were going to be together for ever because if we ever break up it would kill me,my heart would break and i know he won't dear hurt me like that. i already posted under our face book marry and our kids name ( well when they get here). i know his pass word to all his emails Facebook Myspace. i found out on my own. so technology it almost like were marry. so why do men who love you keep you waiting for that one special diamond ring. do any other women on wrong planet is having the same problem. ( and i know he's not cheating cause days he don't work were together or we talk at least 5 to 8 hours on the phone.

Honestly, I think you're generalising a lot here. Under no circumstance would I have considered getting married before at least 25, I've seen too many marriages go down the drain because of it. A lot of people would save themselves a world of hurt if they would try to know each other better before making a commitment and making sure they're mature and responsible enough for it.

Anyway, what's the rush? If you're just 20 you still have your whole life in front of you.

Sorry for my bluntness but that's almost the worst reason to get married I've ever heard...

Let us consider a few legal points:
The standard minimum age to rent a car is 25 in the US.
The standard minimum age to buy alcohol is 21 in the US.
These minimums are in place because, generally, it is believed that people below that age lack the maturity to act responsibly. Like not drinking yourself to death, or not hitting a mailbox with a Ford Taurus while you're Tweeting.

My point is:
we clearly need to raise the legal marriage age.

Some men, not all are afraid of intimacy.

Agreed. Also, it's strange that you have 'married' on FB and children's names. It's a bit strange to have kids names even picked out. That would creep out many people in a relationship. I'm really not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to clearly say what I mean. Is your boyfriend also on the spectrum? He probably isn't making excuses, most people see having a home/being stable financially as a good place to be before getting married. My friend is engaged to a guy who is very much in debt, and they don't have good jobs. Everything they buy/loans they take go in her name, and if they split up she will be responsible. If they get married she will be responsible for his debt...this is the stuff you have to think about. Having a house and the stuff your bf is talking about is good, IMO.

I'm an aspie girl and I have just a tiny fear of commitment. A guy who I'm *possibly* interested in has reasons (that I don't understand) as to why he doesn't want to get married. He says you don't need a piece of paper to legally bind you together

he swears he not, but form what i see i believe he is on the spectrum and trying to get him to see it as such.

He was picked with commitment issues at birth, or as a child, or as a teenager, or as a young adult. You need enough lifetime points to change his traits.

TBH, I'm a guy and I have no idea why "commitment" is such a scary thing. If you feel you love someone then why not?

Marriage itself, however, I think it's pointless in modern society, since there's nothing you can do when you're married that you can't do if you're cohabitating. But that's another subject.

I read an article awhile back that stated that a large portion of men simply got married to their girlfriends because they thought it was the right time to get married. If your boyfriend is in his early 20s it just might not seem like a good idea at the moment.

I'm 22, and I can't even imagine getting married right now, even if I was in a committed relationship.
I've almost graduated college, I'm not settled in my career yet (if this is the right path).

It will take at least a few years to establish my life and savings.

They want to be with every woman that they see.

^
That's a bit presumptuous. He might be happy in his relationship with the OP, just too young for marriage yet.

Seriously, 20 IS really young for marriage. You will both do a lot of changing over the next 10 years, and it is a serious question as to if those changes will draw you apart or closer. My one close friend who married at 19 was divorced by 30. Those married at 22 fared a little better. I know age isn't everything, but I do think it is unfair to call a guy afraid of commitment just because he is hesitant at 21. Give me the same speech when he is 30, THEN I'm more likely to agree.

I do hope he is the one for you and it will last, and I don't think his hesitation at this age means anything more than that he just isn't totally sure he has finished growing up yet. And, well, he really hasn't - biologically, men aren't fully grown until 25.

BS. Coming from a woman, I say this is more of the sexist crap that women hypocritically throw out.

if u split up he will lose half what he owns legally . end of case u can make a contract that goes around that.. i wonder if this is reason

we talked about that before and when we was talking he got kinda upset and said why are we talking about it if we marry were going to stay together. but i still agreed to let him keep all his items. and i keep mines and he can have the kids lol (joke)

I agree 100%. You shouldn't have your status like that, and picking out children's names, and posting them even though you don't have any? You may be scaring him.
Also, it sounds like you want to get married so you feel like he can't get away, so you're "safe". You should get married when you're past being paranoid about that stuff.
Does he know you have all his passwords?

Sorry, I don't want to seem mean. It just seems like you might be a bit overeager, and it could scare him. I can understand how they would be afraid of commitment. I sure am. Once he's married, he is stuck with you. And while you might be great, he may still be wondering if that's the best option, and if his feelings will still be there in 5 years. Don't you ever wonder those things yourself?