Can I have some advice?

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Only 2 years ago when I was 18 I was so much more friendly and I was not angry all the time. Nowadays I have turned into a complete beast or monster. This is what I am like today:

angry
avoid social events becasue of fear of rejection
avoidant
incohearent
antisocial

I have lost respect from people in my enviroment becasue of my behaviour and I am isolating everybody around me. God I hope I am not developing pathological narcissm? I take my rage out on my parents.
When family and even friends of my parents visit the house I used to very friendly to them. Nowadays I just hide away in my room in case I pick up negetive vibes from them. I can't belive it. Everyone in my enviorment including my friends are starting to think i am weird. Old childish tantrums and habits are becoming unnaceptable. In other words I am on the rocky road to ruin in more ways tha one. Maybe I might grow out of this. Then again maybe I won't. To say the least I have become a hermit.

I need some advice becasue times are just getting tougher and I ridicolous and unrealistic expectations in almost every aspect of my life

My shrink said you can only change you are for a game.

hello, Jamesy
some thoughts and queries-

it seems you are seeing a shrink now, so i wonder if you have told him or her about your angry feelings? If you have not, NOW would be the time to do so. if you already have and he or she has not done anything about it, i would ask WHY. your shrink is a resource you have to proactively USE, there is no such thing as automatic treatment. you have to be a participant in the treatment along with the shrink. if you have mentioned your anger to your shrink and there was no response from said shrink, it is time to find another shrink.
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just my 2-cents' worth, adjusted for inflation

I was offered behaviour therapy by my docotor when I last visisted. I have not seen my shrink in almost 2 years.

Get the behavior therapy. They might be able to help you cope with your anger problems and return to a more normal state. But be sure that you're comfortable with the person that you're talking to and that they understand, that's essential. Being a hermit is very difficult, as I know from 4-year experience... your issues won't just go away in one fell swoop. It takes a lot of work to get yourself well mentally. Good luck getting well.

You don't think I might just calm down over time?

5 years ago I was going through a rocky patch and my learning suppourt assistant said to me that "You have semantic langauge impairment thhat makes you get obssesed over things."

From my personal experience, emotional problems don't just "go away" after a certain amount of time. I really agree with the people who recommended that you see a behavioral therapist. It's better that you deal with the problem before you alienate all of your friends and family members.

If I don't seek therapy what situation might I be in say like 4 years from now?

Well, if your anger problems get worse, none of your friends or family will want to socialize with you anymore. You'll have difficulty holding down a job, because employers won't tolerate you blowing up at coworkers or customers. Potential love interests will be intimidated by your temper. You might even wind up completely losing it and attacking someone. Those are the reasons why we're encouraging you to seek help - to help you make sure things don't get to that level. You're not a child where you go through phases that you grow out of. When you're a grown adult with genuine behavioral problems, it's time to correct it.

I was bullied at school a lot. I haven't blown up infront of my friends yet.

I am worried as well that I might have suffered an injury to my spine which is why i am so worried as well.

It's good that you've noted that point, because when kids are bullied at school, they tend to feel resentful and pity, and that doesn't go away once you turn 18. Far from it, from what I've seen, adults seem to manage their emotions much worse than teenagers or children because of much more difficult challenges they're facing and brand-new feelings about life and how to think for themselves. Still, the important thing is that the scars from your childhood and/or adolescence don't fade away once you become an adult, especially when things stay roughly the same or get worse, but also when things get better. They're still there, and they're manifesting themselves with a general fed-up attitude towards life. It's worse when scars from your childhood manifest themselves in adulthood because adults have trouble understanding that they don't make solid decisions and crisp, clean actions all the time, they do make mistakes, and consequently, when they do something wrong, they think they're an idiot. So when adults still have problems from those days when personal responsibilities and making your own decisions were bright, fuzzy, and very new, that's a double whammy, because adults shouldn't think negatively in a child's perspective. If you have a problem with your feelings, then talk to someone, and that someone should be a licensed therapist since he or she is supposed to be an expert about these things. He or she will work with you through your problems and get better.

I've noticed you said, "I was much nicer when I was 18," which was two years ago, and you also said, "I haven't seen my shrink in two years," so maybe that's the root of your problem.



If you haven't received the mantra, "Think!" yet or seen a therapist, then you undoubtedly will. It's happened to me plenty of times.



That's simple. Call the emergency line, or just pay a visit to your doctor.

I hate my height as well. I am only 5'10 or 5'11, I want to be 6'4. It gets me really annoyed.

speaking from personal experience, i can tell you that being much over 6' in height presents challenges most folk don't consider- we live in a world where things are sized and optimally configured for folk who are less than 6' tall- cars, clothes, seating in trains and airplanes and other public accomodations, etc. being a tall guy shoehorned into a tight space on an airplane and made to sit still for 3+ hours flying in the air, is no fun at all, let me tell you. having to constantly watch my head, as well as accumulating bumps on my noggin when i abundantly forget, gets real old after a short while. i wanted to buy a mercedes c-class that was going for a song, but i had to turn it down because the interior of that auto was made for a driver no taller than roughly 5'9", i had to bend over just to fit inside of it. bending over to drive a car is no good, IMHO. finding size 13 shoes extra-wide is an exercise in choosing athletic basketball shoes or nothing. pants have to be modified for me because i am skinnier than what my size of pants generally would befit a typical 6'3" guy.
having spoken of the external challenges, now i bring up the internal challenges. tall folk tend to get arthritis and other wear and tear injuries more often than more compact folk. my dad was also 6'3" and was gradually whittled down by arthritis eating away his knee and back joints until in his 70s he was 5'8." scoliosis affects taller folk more than compact folk. i have scoliosis, which cut about 2" inches from my overall height. gravity affects big people more than compact folk. compact folk have better leverage and are quicker on their feet and less clumsy overall than tall folk.
5'10" is a fine optimal height to be, and i would not object to trading places with you in the height department. you can have my arthritis and scoliosis and clumsiness and i will take your size and its concurrent relief from the problems i described in the paragraphs above.

I don't understand why you'd want to be that tall. I mean it's helpful for playing some sports, but what else?

Being 6'4 would be so god damn awsome. Just the feeling of towering over people.

at your desired height of 6'4" you would not tower over all people - most people for sure but if you were 7' tall then you would surely tower over just about everybody. what is it about 6'4" you prefer? just curious. 6'4" is only 4-5" above your present height, not really a big difference. why not 8 feet? that would be REALLY tall.
you could borrow a pair of platform shoes to get some of the feeling of looking down on people, but it gets old, trust me.

Dear Jamesy,

I wasn't going to go into any more of your threads because you have been deceitful.

However, we all have our problems and I should really try and be more tolerant. So...

I will advise you, take it or leave it.

Your height has changed yet again from other posts you've submitted...yes, do seek out some behaviour therapy.

I don't know if you are being truthful or not, but if you are, then you should be gravely concerned about the way things seem to be panning out for you.

You seem to be involved in an awful lot of violent incidents and so some anger management wouldn't go astray.

You seem to live in the past too...seek out therapy to help you come to terms with your past and move ahead to a brighter, violent free, future.

If you don't seek therapy, your situation in, say, four years from now would most likely be in prison.

Remember this: You can't control other people, the only person you can control is you...and no one controls you except you...you are always going to be the one who's responsible for bad choices.