SAY SOMETHING FUNNY DAMMIT!! !

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Right now!

que?

MAKE ME!! !

"something funny dammit!! !"

You.

The night was getting old as he trudged through the snow ans sleet.
For his nose was long and cold and his shoes were full of feet.

Duck
A duck walks into a feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk tells him, "No, we don't have a market for it so we don't carry it."
The duck says, "Okay," and leaves.
The next day, the duck again walks in to the feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?" Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck once again walks in, and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk says, "I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, I'll nail your feet to the floor." The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks, "Got any nails?"
"No."
"Got any duck feed?"

your insanity is only imagenation

One bright day, in the middle of the night
two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and came to arrest the two dead boys
If you don't believe my story's true
ask the blindman, he saw it too

THERE'S JUST A ONE-LETTER DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ARTISTIC AND AUTISTIC

AUTISTIC FORECAST FOR TODAY: SCATTERED BRAINSTORMS

oh the internet

"Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese." - Joon, Benny & Joon

Barbie Big Boobs

One time while at work I gambled on a fart and lost.
In the bathroom stall I decided it was easier to use my pocket knife and cut off my underwere and flush it down.
The next day there was a company wide meeting where they described my underwere and said they had my initials on them.
They didn't single me out and they didn't fire me. Messed with my head though.

A Priest a nun and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says "Is this some type of joke?"

An Arizona resident was found dead after shooting a saguaro cactus with a shotgun. He died when the plant fell on him.

i thought this was funny-

Ain't We Crazy?
by harry "haywire" mcclintock

Now, I know a little ditty, It's as crazy as can be.
The guy who wrote it said he wanted it, and handed it to me.
I found I couldn't use it, because it sounded blue,
And that's the very reason why I'm handing it to you.

It's a song the alligators sing, while coming through the rye,
As they serenade the elephants, up in the trees so high.
The iceman hums this ditty, as he shovels in the cold,
And the monkeys join the chorus, up around the northern pole.

Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,
This is the way we pass the time away.
Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,
We're going to sing this song all night today.

It was midnight on the ocean, not a streetcar was in sight,
And the sun was shining brightly, for it rained all day that night.
'Twas a summer night in winter, and the rain was snowing fast,
And a barefoot boy with shoes on stood a-sitting in the grass.

It was evening, and the rising sun was setting in the west.
The little fishes in the trees were huddled in their nests.
The rain was pouring down and the moon was shining bright,
And everything that you could see was hidden out of sight.

While the organ peeled potatoes, lard was rendered by the choir.
The sexton rung the dishrag, someone set the church on fire.
"Holy smoke!" The preacher shouted. In the rain he lost his hair.
Now his head resembles heaven, for there is no parting there.

The cows were making cowslips, and the bells were ringing wet,
And the bumblebees were making bums, and smoking cigarettes.
And a man slept in a stable, and came out a little ho(a)rse,
So he hopped upon his golf sticks, and drove all around the course.

Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,
This is the way we pass the time away.
Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,
We're goin' to sing this song all night today.

It was midnight on the ocean, not a horsecar was in sight
As I stepped into the drugstore, to get myself a light.
The man behind the counter, was a woman old and gray
Who used to peddle shoestrings, on the road to Mandalay.

"Good evening, sir," the woman said, and her eyes were bright with tears
As she put her head beneath her feet, and stood that way for years.
Her children, six, were orphans, except one tiny tot
Who lived in a house across the street above a vacant lot.

Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,
But this is the way we pass the time away.
Ain't we crazy, Ain't we crazy,
We're going to sing this song all night today.

Horse walks into a bar. Barman says "Why the long face?"