What's on your mind right now?

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The world is my cappuccino.

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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Loom knitting and watching Dr. Phil. I'll be going to No Frills after the show.

Really wishing I was high-functioning and/or only mildly autistic, feeling jealous of those who can lead something resembling “normal” lives (by that, I mean at least get jobs and live on their own, neither of which I’m likely to ever do).

Grigory Sokolov is on my mind.
I am listening to his rendition of Chopins Preludes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC7HfSovcgI

I really want to just be dragonsanddemons, not “that mentally/developmentally disabled girl.” Or “the girl with cancer.” Or both.

I'll be shifting my focus towards Valentine's Day for at least the next couple of days. It's a little experiment that I'm doing on myself. The Bible says to guard your heart, but I'm not going to do that, anymore. That's such a stupid rule, anyways. It's like the rule to live as your birth gender and not be an imposter. I'm not an imposter, I'm Transgender and I'm not guarding my heart anymore.

Do lungs have tree looking things in them?

If so, why?

... Basically nature.
One of the grand patterns manifested in living things' organs or form.


But otherwise ask your local doctor, nearby resident anatomist or the internet for further details.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I'm so done with trying to be perfect for everyone.

It's pretty much impossible & I know myself better than they know me.

As long as I have my own moral code, that should be enough for me to try & live by & stick to.

Also it's the night of a Glasgow Derby defeat & I have a sore throat which is messing with my voice... so I'm screwed either way...

Having a why do I bother day..

I'm am somewhere between huge anxiety, and feeling physically unable to talk.

Can't focus.

If meat and spatzel or meat, pasta and gravy are the only things I'm craving right now, so be it. My sister doesn't eat the Anglo-Canadian food we were raised on. She's into healthier things than meat and potatoes.

What movie to watch later with my family.

The world is my apple strudel.

For the first time, I've compiled all my chapters, figures, references, etc. together and constructed the first draft of my final thesis for submittal. 1 Title page, 1 ToC page, 1 Acknowledgements page, 2 Abstract pages, 67 pages of Chapters and figures, 6 pages of references. 78 total pages. A complete monster, half a PhD indeed.

A few more spot checks and I'll send it off to my adviser. Likely, He'll only do one more passover of the work, make some minor edits and maybe leave a few notes, but that will be it and it ready to send off to my committee.

Colouring in a book and having a cigarette.