What's on your mind right now?

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Kinda wish Cold Steel made the Hold Out 2 still (it's the best sized one, but they continued on with the smaller 3 and amazingly silly 1). I have an old one in AUS-8A which I really like, but I don't really use it much as I see it as a collectible now, as they're hard to find where I live. I like the 3, and the current ones in S35VN would be quite good, and they're smaller, so less obtrusive. I dunno, might buy a 3 instead of the SS Endura. Quite a bit cheaper too. Stronger lock, better steel and lighter, but just a shorter length blade. 3" isn't much less useful than 4" for day to day pocket knife stuff in the end.

Some extreme echoists are so concerned about becoming a burden that they isolate themselves to limit their interactions, becoming fiercely “counterdependent,” pushing away any and all acts of nurturance... .

Tell me about it.

Cycled to work... At 5AM.
Timed myself and learned it cuts my travel time by 20 mins compared to walking.

So... 25-30 mins, on an empty road because it was too early.
And I've yet to actually conditions my legs with cycling long term.

Not to mention my bike's speed is laughable.
The usual speed isn't even enough for me to go to point A to B without pedalling more rapidly (not harder) on the either gears just to stay up and moving.
I watched other bikers passed me while they're pedalling way less rapidly, slower and in a way more relaxed way.

I tried to shift gears while at it -- still slower and having to pedal more rapidly.

It's just a locally made folding bike that would probably break down a lot -- available within budget.
It's gears already displaced while I was traveling with it today, and the breaks detached itself a week before that.

Next investment would likely be a bike with faster speed. I'll ask that one cyclist someday where and what bike to buy.

Maybe a single speed bike, not too powerful and slightly bigger, but it's the relatively average speed is the "top speed" of my current bike.

Perhaps next year or two. I'll decide then.

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Trigger Warning (Sorry folks):

This month, I slept an hour earlier and an hour less per night on average.
It also meant it went back from the month before.

I also spent less than I received.
But that's because it's my lucky month. Plenty of birthday gifts to go around with -- received as twice and yet spent as thrice...
Still enough to save more than spent.


Hopefully this month, I'd get even way less spending after that investment. But I'm a bit wary about the weather...
And that I'm planning to combat progressive myopia soon. Got no reason why not do it now, but I'd half-heartedly do so until then.

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I woke up early in the morning to a transformer making a noise as a tree hit it, and my mother's room lit up from such too (I didn't see that as I had no LOS). The high winds did such. A large tree fell over and narrowly missed the horse shelter. To my surprise, they seemed to have fixed the power outage fairly quickly comparatively speaking. A few days used to be the norm, with a week or two not unexpected. All the food will still be good (food isn't cheap), so I'm thankful.

About a few hours ago, there was a sonic boom or explosion of some kind. It made the house shake. Not an earthquake as far as I can tell, as I ran outside and heard far off in the distance a rumble coming from the sky (a second distinct one). I heard no jet engines, so maybe a meteorite or meteor. No reports of a flash, though. They've got it listed as an earthquake, though, small, and depth to it, so I guess it was an earthquake.

Secondhand Emerson.

Feeling guilty in a way, as maybe I've made someone sometimes feel bad, guilty and/or whatever for a lack of direct communication (L&C stuff). That's a problem I'll always have, not seeing from the perspective of others as much as I should. Reciprocation isn't expected. I'm sorry.

Reported someone at work.
Hope this doesn't come back to bite me
But can't stand by and watch people being yelled at and belittled by their coworkers.
I was told "That's how this person is"
Ah, yeah, that doesn't make it ok.

You did the right thing. ^

The world needs more Raleighs.

Likely a Narcissist there (at least someone scoring high in such). The one person that's always putting people down, is usually such (a specific presentation that tends to value their own feelings of superiority), as they're building up their own self-esteem due to having little on the inside. It's how their psyche copes with it all. It might come back on you depending on how much they think you've hurt them. Hopefully it's a female if this is the case, albeit, you'll probably have stories thrown back at you. Lies, of course, but they'll be to the boss. I sadly have too much experience here due to family containing such as well as my private investigating interest.

Me sad over things, but it's alright (kinda used to it).

Tried using a fork and knife for an eating utensil...


It was just... Just awkward. Jarring.
It's just me unaccustomed to doing it.

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I've tried chopsticks before and I'll just say that...I didn't succeed (critically failing is closer to the truth). To be fair, my fingers don't seem to be fans of holding things in a pinching manner. My hands prefer a hammer grip or slightly modified with the thumb along the spine. Funnily, I'll use a variety of types of knives for preparing and eating food, and not just kitchen and dining knives. An interest leaking into something else there.

The car failure mechanic deal went exactly as I initially said it would (should have just pulled it apart and manually cleaned it to begin with). I have no idea how I know about cars, seriously (it ain't My Summer Car). My father never told me anything even though that's what he did. I guess I listened when I'd go to his job as a kid or something. That'll be over a thousand dollars, but that's why I save money; it naturally makes me feel like a failure (woe is me ), as I know I could do it just fine, but could doesn't do much in this world if one can't at the time.

3 day long day off...
Planning to do manicure pedicure for the first time.

And...
Maybe fasting? It's been a while for me.

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Dealing with my mom living with me and my niece ..

It's funny when i go into the town here and the Real Estate agent is selling boxes of avocados and the hardware store has honey and there's a guy selling fresh fish outside the pub. Theres lots more too.

My super scientific knife testing got interrupted by the next door neighbor shooting too much. Me went and slept that one away as nothing needed doing inside and I was tired. Not complaining as live and let live, but using a .22LR rifle would be far cheaper in the end and no need for ear protection there outdoors. A dollar or so per trigger squeeze adds up, but I guess everyone else around here are middle-upper class sorts rather than the lowest class.

That little doll I made, which looks like a voodoo doll that I'm using as a pincushion, I just realized is ghost white with blue eyes. Yeah, I removed all my needles from that one. I don't need to curse myself. Maybe my subconscious doing its thing there.

Feeling of loss, I guess. But, in reality, that was made several years ago and I just got stuck in time. My fault entirely.

I made my cat Pepper in the Sims 4. I miss her so much.

Why is it, when I meditate, and ended up conjuring imagery of people representing aspects of myself, just ends up wearing my sister's face of varying ages?

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