Make an extremely dark joke.

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Skilpadde
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20 Dec 2018, 1:51 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

I little worried that I might overstep the mark with my dark humour , I nearly told a dead baby joke but decided to abort

and to think I was worried about posting the below joke:

Man's favorite word begins with m and ends with arriage
Miscarriage.
never gets old. Like the kid

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

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love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765

Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 2:53 pm

SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 3:22 pm

Skilpadde wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

I little worried that I might overstep the mark with my dark humour , I nearly told a dead baby joke but decided to abort

and to think I was worried about posting the below joke:

Man's favorite word begins with m and ends with arriage
Miscarriage.
never gets old. Like the kid

I can get a bit carried away sometimes :lol:

I'm already expecting some of the jokes I posted to be reported.

Time to up the game :twisted:

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Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 4:01 pm

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 4:26 pm

How to punish an Aspie:

SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 4:28 pm

^You crossed the line Fnord , that is sick as f**k , reported

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IstominFan
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20 Dec 2018, 4:39 pm

What do you get when you cross a Spanish tennis player with a brand of chocolate?

A Juan Carlos Ferrero Rocher

(Not dark, just a little play on words)

Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 4:52 pm

Daughter: "Hey mom, how do you feel about abortion?"

Mother: "Ask your brother.”

Daughter: "But I'm an only ch ..."

Catlover5
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20 Dec 2018, 4:54 pm

Daughter: Mum, do you think I'm pretty?
Mum: What does your boyfriend think?
Daughter: What boyfriend?
Mum: Exactly.

Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 5:01 pm

A priest, a rabbi, and a protestant minister are standing by the side of the road, putting up a sign that reads:

"The End Is Near! Turn Yourself Around Before It's Too Late!"

As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nutjobs!"

From the curve, they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The priest turns to the others and asks, "See? I told you the sign should just say 'Bridge Out'!"

TW1ZTY
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20 Dec 2018, 5:13 pm

envirozentinel
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20 Dec 2018, 5:17 pm

In a new movie about the girl in red who visits her sick granny in the woods, the wolf gets her this time. The title: Little Dead Riding Hood.

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SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 5:18 pm

Dark tennis joke for Istominfan

Q: What is the definition of endless love?

A: Helen Keller & Andrea Bocelli playing tennis

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Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard

Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 5:18 pm

Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 5:22 pm

Hagar the Horrible

SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 5:36 pm

I don't think this gallow humour is appropriate , when I went to the library and asked for a book on how to hang yourself , the librarian told me to get knotted as I wouldn't bring it back

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