What are your best jokes or one liners?

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Joined: 1 Feb 2011
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22 Apr 2011, 3:55 pm

I'll start:

Who makes more money a drug dealer or a Hooker?

A Hooker cuz she can just wash her crack and use it again.

Radiofixr
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22 Apr 2011, 4:10 pm

Definition of a tiger---thats a p***y that eats you
Definition of a happy Roman--Gladiator.

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Apple_in_my_Eye
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22 Apr 2011, 4:47 pm

Yo mama's so fat, that when God said, "let there be light," he told her to move out of the way first.

Zen
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22 Apr 2011, 4:52 pm

http://www.gaussfacts.com/

Laz
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22 Apr 2011, 4:56 pm

Man walks into a bar......Ouch!

Horse walks into a bar...barman says "Why the long face?"

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IdahoRose
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22 Apr 2011, 10:18 pm

Q: What sank the ship on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean?

A: A Depp Charge!

Titangeek
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22 Apr 2011, 11:07 pm

Q: how do you keep an idiot in suspense?
A: I'll tell you later.

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MooCow
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23 Apr 2011, 1:22 am

Two Irish men walk out of a bar...

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syzygyish
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23 Apr 2011, 6:24 am

Titangeek wrote:

Q: how do you keep an idiot in suspense?
A: I'll tell you later.

I'm still waiting!

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LostInEmulation
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23 Apr 2011, 8:09 am

If, before 1989, memory was produced in East Germany would it be DDR RAM?

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Dox47
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24 Apr 2011, 1:10 am

As a pickup line:

*holds out rag* Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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dunbots
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24 Apr 2011, 1:23 am

Dox47 wrote:

As a pickup line:

*holds out rag* Does this smell like chloroform to you?

I love that one. :lol:

There's one joke I like, but it doesn't work so well written, since it involves homophones which aren't homonyms...

"Venison's deer/dear, isnt it?"

When spoken, [diɚ] could be either "deer" or "dear": one is an animal, the other means "expensive".

It's from Jimmy Carr.

Last edited by dunbots on 24 Apr 2011, 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

IDontGetIt
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24 Apr 2011, 2:23 am

What's red and isn't there?
.
.
.
.
.
.
No tomatoes.

Kimmy
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24 Apr 2011, 7:06 pm

My brother and his friend and I were waching Moby Dick 2010, a movie that is so bad, its funny. We were making funny comments about the scenes in the movie as we watched, and when Captain Ahab lost his leg I said, "I'm confused, is it moby dick that took his leg, or is it moby leg who took his dick?"

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joestenr
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24 Apr 2011, 7:25 pm

there are three kinds of people in the world, those who understand math, and those who don't

Grete
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25 Apr 2011, 3:28 am

^ Reminded me: There are 10 kinds of people - those who understand binary, and those who do not.

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