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League_Girl
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25 Apr 2011, 6:06 pm

It seems like it has. The word is often misused. If you are dating someone who is a lot younger than you, let's say twenty years younger, people call you a pedophile or think of you as one even though both of you are adults. If you are dating a teen or sexually attracted to one, people call you one.

Also I have heard when people don't agree with you nor like you, they call you one even though pedophilia has nothing to do with it.

Has anyone here ever been called one for no reason?



sluice
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25 Apr 2011, 6:37 pm

People will make fun of anything. I have accused of "robbing the cradle" by some friends when I briefly dated a younger woman before, though she was legally of age to be sure. I don't think I would use the word pedophile, since it is such a serious issue, but I've heard worse.



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25 Apr 2011, 6:38 pm

It has become slang in my part of the world, and I think that's quite racey.


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IdahoRose
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25 Apr 2011, 6:38 pm

League_Girl wrote:
If you are dating a teen or sexually attracted to one, people call you one.


In my honest opinion, if you are an adult and are dating anyone under 18, you are a pedophile. I know that people like to argue about the technicalities ("It's ephebophilia not pedophilia! Huge difference!"), but personally I see no good reason why anyone should pursue a relationship with someone who is not equipped to handle all the responsibilities that sexual and romantic relationships entail.



mirela
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25 Apr 2011, 6:39 pm

I don't know if it's the case for those you've heard using that word, but in my friends' case it's supposed to be a joke. Not a good one, obviously, but still a joke. So they know the meaning of the word, it's just their way of teasing "the adult in the relationship".


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Tequila
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25 Apr 2011, 6:45 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
In my honest opinion, if you are an adult and are dating anyone under 18, you are a pedophile.


There are an awful lot of perfectly legal paedophiles in the UK then. (The age of consent is 16 here and the age of consent worldwide is averaged at 16.)



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25 Apr 2011, 6:46 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
If you are dating a teen or sexually attracted to one, people call you one.


In my honest opinion, if you are an adult and are dating anyone under 18, you are a pedophile. I know that people like to argue about the technicalities ("It's ephebophilia not pedophilia! Huge difference!"), but personally I see no good reason why anyone should pursue a relationship with someone who is not equipped to handle all the responsibilities that sexual and romantic relationships entail.


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I'm not in total disagreement with you there myself, it may be different if a person is say 19 or 20 and dating someone under the age of 18, more so if this was a one off - but if over the age of 18 and consistently going for under 18's it does start to get a bit iffy, that does mean an attraction to someone who is essentially still a child.

I have been in a few such relationships - one I was 14/15 he was 20/21, another 2 1/2 year relationship starting when I was 16 and he was 21...granted, that became abusive :? If I had a child I wouldn't be happy with someone over 18 going out with my teen, and I dislike seeing it with under 18 girls especially - it may be sexist, but I think girls are especially vulnerable in their teens.


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25 Apr 2011, 6:49 pm

Quote:
If you are dating someone who is a lot younger than you


I usually hear the term 'cougar' applied to women. I don't know what the term is for men... now that I think about it, the emphasis of ridicule seems to be on women who date outside of their 'age group'- if they go for younger guys, they're 'cougars' (though I know some women who wear that tag with ironic/humorous pride), if they go for older men they're referred to as 'gold diggers' - usually this only applies to rich older men, but I have heard it in other instances


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nick007
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25 Apr 2011, 11:47 pm

People think I'm a pedophile because of my AS issues. I'm extremly immature in some ways because of AS. I mention a song by a young pop singer; people think pedophile. I mention watching iCarly; people think pedophile. I make a comet about a Disney idol being a bad role model because she's slu*ty; people think pedophile. I mention liking Miranda Cosgrove because she's more mature than most other idols & pop singers & isn't slu*ty; people think pedophile. People also think pedophile because I'm socially awkward & because of my twisted sense of humor. My psychs even thought I was a pedophile because I liked girls a bit younger than me because I got along better with em than women around my age probably because of my maturity level & AS issues.


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League_Girl
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26 Apr 2011, 12:08 am

IdahoRose wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
If you are dating a teen or sexually attracted to one, people call you one.


In my honest opinion, if you are an adult and are dating anyone under 18, you are a pedophile. I know that people like to argue about the technicalities ("It's ephebophilia not pedophilia! Huge difference!"), but personally I see no good reason why anyone should pursue a relationship with someone who is not equipped to handle all the responsibilities that sexual and romantic relationships entail.



http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pedophile

pe·do·phile
   /ˈpidəˌfaɪl/ Show Spelled[pee-duh-fahyl] Show IPA
–noun Psychiatry .
an adult who is sexually attracted to young children.



Teen isn't a young child so by your logic, an 18 year old dating a 17 year old is one then or a 19 year old dating a 16 year old. To me that is very close age difference.



Tequila
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26 Apr 2011, 3:20 am

Also, in Tunisia the age of consent limit is as high as 20.

Is a 21-year-old showing an interest in a 19-year-old paedophilic?

My point is that, with many accusations of paedophilia, it isn't so clear-cut.



nick007
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26 Apr 2011, 9:37 am

There's lots of cases in my area of young teen girls with guys who are a lot older than em. My former supervisor was dating a 19year-old a couple years ago when he was 38. One of my neighbor girls was running around with some 19year-old guy who was giving her drugs & stuff when she was 13. One of my coworkers daughter was with a guy who was about 23 when she was 14. One of my dad's work colleagues daughter was dating a guy in his mid 30s when she was 15 & he moved in with her family when she got pregnant at 16/17. I don't get why people are so quick to judge me a pedophile when they're so many obvious cases that are a lot worse that people turn a blind-eye to. It's completely asinine. I'm asexual NOT a pedophile.


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26 Apr 2011, 10:53 am

I haven't heard it used improperly much in SoCal or in Dallas... When I hear the word Pedophile, I think of dirty old men with an interest in little kids. But I do hear "cougar" a lot when the woman is maybe only a few years older than the man. I believe that when used accurately (besides the literal meaning of a large feline, of course), a "Cougar" is a mature adult woman who likes teen boys (not little boys, but fully physically developed 16-18, etc). A pedophile still means an adult who is attracted to, or preys on, innocent or emotionally undeveloped boys or girls. But my point about "cougar" is that I hear it about women of 30 who have a husband or boyfriend of 26, etc. Not the actual definition, but popular slang.

Charles



nick007
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26 Apr 2011, 12:00 pm

kx250rider wrote:
When I hear the word Pedophile, I think of dirty old men with an interest in little kids.

That's what I consider a pedophile. I looked up the DSM criteria years ago & it's a person who has a sexual interest in prepubescents. More than a few sources explicitly mentioned sexual & that the kids the pedo likes are younger than 13 & prepubescent. So a guy in his 40s who only likes young teenagers is not a pedophile but an adult who is sexually interested in prepubescent kids under 13 would be.


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Tequila
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26 Apr 2011, 12:12 pm

nick007 wrote:
That's what I consider a pedophile.


That's the problem though - an 18-year-old boyfriend who took photos of his 17-year-old girlfriend could legitimately be called a paedophile here in the UK, as anything sexually explicit featuring under-18s is classed as child porn. Even a famous newspaper has had to destroy all its archive photos of models over the age of 16 (and thus sexual consent) but under the age of 18.



Last edited by Tequila on 26 Apr 2011, 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

League_Girl
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26 Apr 2011, 1:34 pm

My high school Spanish teacher must have been a pedophile because his wife was 17 and he was 21 when they married.

My aid's nephew must have been a pedophile because his ex wife was 16 and he was 22 when they married.

My old boss's ex husband must have been a pedophile because she was 17 when she got married assuming he was older than 18.


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