Dealing with death

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A while back one of my childhood friends, someone I'd spend a lot of time with and indeed one of very few people I could call my friend at the time was in a street race when he lost control and wrapped his car around a telephone pole. He was killed instantly. When I found out, my reaction surprised me. It was "dumbass. He deserved it for doing something that stupid." I never felt any grief or remorse we hadn't been closer, nothing. I'm wondering if this is a common thing because recently my coworker's wife, an insulin dependent diabetic suffered a severe sugar crash and died before they could get her to the hospital. What's worse is she was pregnant at the time, one week from her due date and they lost the baby. When I heard what happened, all I thought was "wow. That sucks." Again, no grief. I'm still getting used to what is and is not attributable to AS so has anyone else experienced reactions like that?

I'm not sure if this has anything to do with AS either. I don't think it does...

That sounds more like you just weren't very close to those two people. It's perfectly normal not to grieve the loss of someone you aren't close to.

yes I felt very weird when my reaction (or more accurately - non-reaction) to the death of a cousin who i was close to was noticed and bothered some of my relatives. I think the only people who I would cry uncontrollably over their loss is my immediate family. I could tear up just imagining their loss so I'd imagine it would be far worse to actually live it out.

I seldom have the reactions that are expected of me, and death, especially sudden death, just leaves me feeling blank or empty. Sometimes it takes me years to fully process the loss, because finally I see the effects the death has had on those left behind. It's as if I can mourn only when everyone else has "forgotten".

I had a kiss of death last month around this time with no support from my family and I've gone through some tears.

I've had another kiss of death when my best friend's mum passed away in March. That was the day that I was all emotional and after everybody who told me that I shouldn't be making public apologies on WP.

Several years ago I was informed my best friend from High School snuffed himself with a 9mm rifle pointed at his head. Most of my initial reaction was being dumbfounded and confused, and yes the loss of a rare good friend was very disappointing. This was all slightly tempered by the fact that I knew he had a weird home life and a crappy job.

My vague understanding was his dad came back from Vietnam kind of messed up and he lived with his grandparents in a trailer park. Also his job was in a glass factory and I'm not sure if he had inhaled glass dust. He may have had health and home issues that were to much for him.

Where ever you are Erik may you be at peace.