How are you doing?

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"I'm fine." I replied. The tacobell cashier than handed me the bag with the 7-layer burrito and closed the window. My cousin then said, "You're supposed to say 'I'm having quite a fine day!'" in an excited manner, and then goes on to say "You have to be cool when you say it. When you say "I'm fine."(Does it in a "normal way", at least it seems 'normal to me'.), people tend to ... *shies away as if avoiding the source*".

So, does anyone else get this? I'm guessing because I don't act all excited when I make standard social responses, I'm not "acting cool"? Why is that such a problem?

I admitted that I had no understanding of what he's talking about and just make the excuse "I"m autistic.". I don't know if that's true or not, but it seems like there's some things about socializing that I don't intuitively understand. I intellectually understand it, but I intuitively don't "get it", if you know what I mean. I don't know if this is linked to autism or something else entirely.

Your story reminds me of how people sometimes think I'm being sarcastic when I say "That's great!" or "Sounds good"....and I'm never entirely sure why. I think that sometimes it's because my words don't come out in the right tone--even when I really think something is great. Could be more to it than that, but I'm not sure.

I think I do understand what you mean, but I'm not sure.....like you know the drill of the social exchange, you could explain it from an anthropological standpoint, but it just seems weird and you don't see the point or understand why it's so important?

Well, it does seem weird how "important" this 'coolness' is and I can also explain it from an emotional basis. That is, the "mirror neurons" in people fire up when people express a certain emotion so that they themselves feel that particular emotion, and if you express excitement, then they feel excitement/"goodness". If you don't express vigor/excitement, then in theory it causes the other person to feel "less good" because their mirror neurons reflect this, and so you're "less cool" because of it, and people shy away from you because "You're not cool", hehe.

I think there's also something about the fluidity and dynamics of facial and tonal regulation that he was alluding to that I didn't quite "get" whether or not he was implying was "not cool" about the way I said "I'm fine.".

This is confusing. I'm not sure if the whole exchange was bungled by the topic poster or if the cousin is wrong or at least exaggerating. I mean this is buying food at Taco Bell.

I find it hard to believe you have to be "cool". If I was putting on a show of being cool while buying tacos in a drive thru I'd feel like a jackass.

I despise this question. I have never had someone in customer service ask me how I was doing and actually care at all what my answer was. I refuse to answer and now, people try to make stupid small talk. "Oh, great shirt! Where'd you get it?!?!?" "Your mom gave it to me, now STFU and give me my burrito."

"How are you doing"

"I'm hungry."

simple

I've been told to have a nice day, but I was never asked how I am.

How am I doing?

I'm doing what I'm doing.

Meh. Okay so far.

Pretty good. Mowed and whipper snipped the lawn in the rain, then played music to the rain.