Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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The online exclusive Build-a-Bear I ordered that arrived on Thursday, but was delivered by the stupid FedEx so they took it back and left me a note since I wasn't home, and probably wouldn't have heard them arrive downstairs even if I was home, was supposed to be ready for me to pick up today, but it wasn't. It was bad enough I had to wait through the whole miserable long holiday weekend for something that would have at least brought me some temporary happiness until the painful feelings overwhelm me again, but I don't even know if or when it will be ready. And I probably won't be able to get it until Thursday, anyway.

And today I bought a toy Minnie Mouse figure while at Walmart, but when I got home I couldn't find it in any of my bags even though everything else was in them and it was on my receipt. Now I'm going to have to call my mother and see if it fell out of one of the bags while in the car or something. And If it is in the car I'll have to wait until Thursday for that, too.

And for all I know there might not even be a Thursday. There might not be a day at all. It was a warm, clear and sunny day today, but warm clear sunny days just make it easier for terrorists to crash their planes or drop their bombs on you. At least it was cool enough for me to wear a log sleeved jacket so my mother wouldn't see the bruises and scratches I self-inflicted on my right arm. She did notice I was down, though.

My friend that was supposed to have quit drinking called me intoxicated and was making no sense. I guess I'm surrounded by pathetic losers. Alcoholics will be alcoholics.

I'm dissociating really bad today. Trying to make an appointment with my doctor was hard because I can't think straight. I wasn't able to do that either, because they don't have any appointments available during a time and day that I could come in. I guess I just get to continue to be in crippling pain for at least the next month.

Technically it was today, but I went into complete hysterics late last night. I was already miserable because we're going to be nuked any minute now and die a slow and agonizing death, but last night when YouTube was really slow for some reason I got so frustrated it put me over the edge.

I dread the night now, because I can't sleep and I feel even more isolated and helpless than I do the rest of the time.

my life is drifting by and i don't understand how to use my talents and make something of myself.

Anxiety

I've found out that someone's been asking questions about me behind my back. Questions to the tune of, "Why does CR have to be German?" "Why is CR trying to be German?"

My stutter is getting so embarrassing. I haven't stuttered like this since I was a kid. I could barely even ask for my inhaler at the pharmacy yesterday and I wanted to cease to exist right then and there.

^ Hope you're doing alright, HOH.

Anxiety

I ordered an autism photo card to wear from hidden disabilities but my lanyard came without my card. Now I have to open a ticket on their website to try to find out what happened and get my card.

Dispensary has 16$ eighths and I’m broke.Why are all the good sales when I have no money??