Why do people say ''stop complaining'' even when you're not?

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Joe90
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19 Jul 2011, 11:20 am

Does this really, really annoy you? You're trying to express your opinions, or trying to encourage someone, or telling someone how you feel, and people just shout, ''stop complaining!'' How's that complaining? Complaining is this type of thing: ''oh don't wanna do that, that's boring! I don't wanna do that either! I'm bored! I don't wanna go there!'' and so on. That's complaining. The other day I said to my family, ''why don't we eat our meal outdoors instead of indoors? It's such a lovely day outside,'' and one of them was like, ''stop complaining?!'' What the f**k?


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iamnotaparakeet
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19 Jul 2011, 11:23 am

They probably interpreted the part "instead of indoors" as an implied complaint about something inside.



CockneyRebel
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19 Jul 2011, 12:53 pm

It might also mean that the people don't wish to talk about the thing that you wish to talk about.


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Katatonic
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19 Jul 2011, 1:55 pm

I always tell people at work to stop complaining when they're talking about really positive things. It just humors me.


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BillyIdolFan217
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19 Jul 2011, 8:41 pm

My sister in-law use to always say, "stop complaining" and I didn`t even know I was complaining but I do that a lot. She use to piss me off a lot but not anymore because she knows me better now.


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chrissyrun
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19 Jul 2011, 10:21 pm

You should have just gone out there anyways, that's what I would've done. 8)



curlyfry
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19 Jul 2011, 10:33 pm

If they are not usually sarcastic then they are just being a**holes.



oldmantime
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19 Jul 2011, 10:36 pm

i figure that usually they're just going their own sort of socially acceptable nuts and are trying to think of excuses not to deal with whatever there is to be dealt with.



OddFiction
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19 Jul 2011, 11:12 pm

I was recently told that I get this told to me because

Quote:
You never ever say anything positive so we've started to expect everything you say (before you even say it) to be a complaint.


But then again, who really comments on the positive stuff?
Chick flicks! :twisted:



DarrylZero
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19 Jul 2011, 11:18 pm

People have often assigned a value judgement to things I've said when there was none assigned by me. It annoys me. The problem is that if I begin by saying, "I don't care one way or the other, blah, blah, blah," or something similar, the assumption is that I've made a value judgement when I haven't.

I can't win. :?



nick007
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19 Jul 2011, 11:55 pm

My mom often accuse me of complaining when I'm NOT trying to. she get upset when I ask questions, make suggestions, express opinions ect. A lot of what I say gets misinterpreted


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straightfairy
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20 Jul 2011, 7:01 am

I think most NT people only question many situations when they actually want to complain about it, even when they don't make an explicit complaint. Therefore, when we question a situation in order to learn about it, or make a suggestion, it's assumed to be a complaint.
I qualify some of my questions now to make it clear that I'm not complaining. How you phrase the question can help.



arielhawksquill
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20 Jul 2011, 8:07 am

Maybe you were using a whiny tone of voice.



Tamsin
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20 Jul 2011, 8:23 am

My parents tell me I complain too much and it really annoys me because I don't think I complain at all.



nick007
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20 Jul 2011, 9:39 am

When someone tells us to stop complaining; we should tell them to quit being hypocritical because they are complaining about our complaining


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Joe90
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20 Jul 2011, 10:08 am

I've got to the point where I'm scared to protest with other people. Having a different opinion doesn't mean you're complaining. It can sometimes mean a form of communication. How can everybody say things positive all the time? If you are always positive, people start taking advantage of you, because they think you like to put up with anything.

People complain all the time, even without realising it. I'll let you in on a little secret: I like people who complain a lot. In fact, the more others are complaining, the more I don't. Sometimes that works with me - if I'm the only one dissatisfied, the more I seem to complain. If others are complaining along with me, the less I complain. I just agree with them, until I'm almost getting excited because I'm actually relating to someone else's opinions! Then I go into happy mode and finish complaining. :D (OK, I don't have that much trouble relating to NTs, but you get what I mean).

But sometimes people with an anxiety disorder can complain a lot. I've got a very high anxiety disorder, which is why I always find something to complain about. It's quite natural in anxious or depressed people.


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