Freestyle social situations versus planned ones

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Spazzergasm
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22 Aug 2011, 4:44 am

Does anyone else behave very differently in each of these? I'm usually comfortable and capable of chatting calmly when there's a mutual objective of the social situation. Such as going to the dentist, or working on a project, or like, fishing with people. But then if it's not established what we're doing, and it's like, hanging out at a coffee shop to talk, or at a party, or something like that, it's a whole different story. I also find standing facing someone is a LOT harder than sitting besides them.
Anyone else have these differences?



one-A-N
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22 Aug 2011, 6:02 am

Pretty much, yeah.

Structured situations I can carry off like an NT - well, mostly. But unstructured situations, unless I have known the people for about 10-15 years, nup. My mind is racing, trying to think of things to say. I can't rely on the script to get me through. My favourite interests (well, obsessions) are not things that NTs would be comfortable with as chit-chat - e.g. ASDs, ADHD, sensory sensitivity.



dopplercb
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22 Aug 2011, 10:36 am

that is largely how I am, too, OP. I handle myself much better when things have been planned, but when my friend calls me to come out to dinner or something, I am like a social popsicle. I freeze.



nick007
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22 Aug 2011, 11:41 am

I'm better at planned ones too I think because I can focus on the purpose of why I'm there. I'm less nervous because I have an idea of what to expect & the small talk & things tend to be related to that purpose instead of just random stuff.


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kx250rider
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22 Aug 2011, 12:45 pm

I'm a bungling idiot at any social situation where there is no "leader" or a planned agenda. I just say hello, then go off by myself and get busy with something. Case in point: My wife and I went to a friend's birthday barbecue on Saturday evening, at one of our rental apartments. I ate quickly, and then I went and worked on a plumbing repair project for 2 hours.

Charles