Upset stranger. Comfort them or leave them be?

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VIDEODROME
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24 Sep 2011, 11:36 pm

So I'm passing through the Baltimore area in my driving job and stop to get some groceries for my ice cooler. I go up to the store's deli counter and a distraught female clerk comes up to the counter apologizing for looking mad or upset. She kind of mumbles something about having been kicked out of her apartment that day but I'm not getting any specific details.

At this point all I felt like I could do was offer politeness and patience. I kind of nod and try to smile and say I understand. Then I get my half pound of pastrami and she looks upset again saying something like "if I could die today".

It's hard to really convey in text how this kind of emotional display went down, but I'm not sure if I should have tried to insert myself into the situation more directly and try to offer comforting words. Or just conduct myself in a friendly and polite manner and be on my way so she can have some privacy while finishing her work at the end of the day.

My instinctive feeling was move on so she could have privacy with her emotions. It was almost closing time so she probably just needed to finish up and get out of there. Maybe have a stiff drink or a good cry or whatever she needed to do to express her feelings somehow.

Feeling kind of dumb, but also feeling that it's to bad she couldn't get a better support system through work. Maybe take sick leave or trade a shift or some kind of employee counseling.



blue_bean
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25 Sep 2011, 8:53 am

Maybe just try to engage her in conversation about unrelated matters and get her to smile. Make her job satisfactory for 30 seconds.



blue_bean
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25 Sep 2011, 8:55 am

Of course engaging people in conversation is easier said than done :P



Tomasu
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25 Sep 2011, 2:28 pm

^^ Good evening VIDEODROME.

I am very sorry if this is incorrect of me, however if you would wish, perhaps you may happily ask the lady "May I help?", or perhaps "Would you like the talk about this?" or a similar question. Perhaps this is happy, as then if the lady wishes only to be alone, perhaps she may answer "no" to this question. On the other hand, perhaps the lady may reply "yes" and also provide some more details for you.


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Descartes
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25 Sep 2011, 3:13 pm

If I were to see a highly upset stranger in public, then I personally would just leave them be. I know that if I were visibly upset, then I wouldn't want some stranger coming up to me and wanting to know what's the matter. I don't even like it when my parents do that. But, then again, everybody's different, and I'm only speaking from my own perspective.


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CockneyRebel
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25 Sep 2011, 8:55 pm

I'd comfort the person, because I want to show how sensitive and caring I am. I know that I don't like being left alone at a time like that.


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25 Sep 2011, 9:51 pm

I second what Tomasu said. If she had said no, at least you would have tried, if she said yes, then maybe you could help.


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VIDEODROME
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25 Sep 2011, 10:23 pm

Well I was leaning toward what Descartes said and kind of hoping she had supportive friends or family to turn to after work.

Possibly if I actually lived in that area I might be more inclined to offer help since I could return, but I'm in a travel related job just passing through.



animalcrackers
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25 Sep 2011, 11:34 pm

If a stranger told me they were upset, I would try to offer them some comfort.

If I saw a stranger who looked visibly distraught but didn't say anything to me, I would probably leave them alone. It would depend on the situation.


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