Have you ever not noticed........

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I was friends with a really nice girl and her husband for about a year and a half. One day she made a crude joke about "once you go black you never go back" and I questioned her about it. It turns out her husband is African American and I never noticed it. I also just found out a long time acquaintance was Asian.

Additionally, I often don't notice gender among customers like when a coworker asks who came in for something I'll have to use the "they, them" pronouns because I'll remember exactly what they wanted or what their complaint was to the finest detail but not their appearance or gender. Sometimes I'll forget who I did what with and not have the gender of the person even right.

Is this an Aspie thing? Or something else?

Are these friends online or IRL ?

I totally think that's an Aspie thing. I notice someone's skin color if race is mentioned, then I'll look for it. A lot of times I see black people making jokes about their own color, and I don't get the joke at first, because I didn't realize (or I forgot) they were black.

My kids are starting to tell me people's skin colors. They're not judging or anything, they're young, and they're just starting to notice the differences. Before this, I never noticed how much I DIDN'T notice people's colors and origins.

Thank you! You just made my morning.

the "once you go black, you never go back" thing is a reference to the myth of the general size of a particular part of the black male anatomy

she was just joking, right?

I think she was joking but I didn't get a chance to ask because I said something like what does your husband think of that? That's when it got explained to me that he was black so he liked it just fine.

I always thought my parents were Asian, at least until I was 21.

Turns out they just like Chinese food.