Pssst! Want to join Werbert's conspiracy?

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ooooh...*wants a cookie*

Thanks for getting the feds off my tail but now that I'm in what exactly is my job in this thing?

Fine then I apoint myself official Leader/General of the Monkey ninja/Samuri Army
Also I don't exist or even know anything about the interweb or whatever its called

I approve. Of what, I don't know.

What's my name again?

I'll give you a doughnut if you kill this man:



Unfortunately, David Eckstein is actually smaller than a squirrel, so I guess I'll give you two doughnuts.

Three if you make him suffer terribly.

Too late he's already dead one of my black-Ops monkies has already slit his throat and broght you the heart as proof
I require two doughnuts and a cookie

I will leave the doughnuts and cookie at a bakery in Eugene that is owned by the conspiracy. You will walk in, ask for the doughnuts and cookie, and they will state a number. You will reach in your pocket and produce the proper Monkey Operations Network Entrance papers, or money, as we call it. You also might need some Conspiracy Operations Interaction Notes, or COINs, to assist your transaction. After they give you the number, you will give them the proper amount of money and coins. When they receive your transmission, they will know who you are and hand over your doughnut and cookie. They will then thank you and ask you to come back soon because we have more missions for you. You will nod and withdraw from the bakery.

what bakery though theres like 14 in a 2mile radius of my training grounds

It's pretty obvious what's going on here, and you don't have to be an aspie genius to figure it out. Plans were discussed earlier to nuke targets in the midwestern United States. Discussion of this has gone underground due to technical problems since One Winged Angel produced twelve thousand suitcases when he was trying to replicate suitcase nuclear weapons.

Obviously, nobody would want to conquer The US midwest, because they might then be forced to occupy it. Even the people who were born there can't stand to live there and they're all leaving. If the gorillas make it that far east, they will probably be a voting majority. So what's the sinister secret motive?

There's only one possibility. Taking over the central US would provide control over the US wheat supply and make it possible to blackmail the US government to accept almost any demands except honesty from politicians, which is an impossibility.

The midwest would represent the most obvious target for a plot of this sort. California is also a major agricultural producer, but it would be hopeless to attempt to keep track of all the fruits in California.

So the question remains, once the conspiracy is successful, what will be the demands of the mysterious controllers?

I already have my own plans for world domination.

And you will all have to die for knowing it. My team will track you down.

The US midwest is useful to me as a military test zone. Food can be manufactured in factory farms at a much greater rate.

Amateurs.

O.K. werbert will post in 5,4,3,2,1 right about now.................