Is Self-Sabotage a myth or reality?

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The world at large seems to believe that some people "want" to be depressed or

Want to be miserable

or

Want to fail or [insert verb that leads to increased misery or suffering].

Personally, I believe self-sabotage is a myth. I can't imagine anyone would want to be miserable, in any way.

However, it is a common belief and wondering if there is truth to it or not.....

It's NOT a myth. Sometimes people believe they are not worthy of things going well due to feeling guilty about something. Also sometimes people are so used to things going wrong in their life that they are afraid of things going rite.

No, I don't think self-sabotage is a myth, but the amount of people who actively seek to remain miserable is probably smaller than the "world at large" assumes. I know people who revel in being miserable because it earns them sympathy, and I also know that I loathe misery above all else and work hard to pull myself out of it.

Look at how many people struggle every day with drug and / or alcohol addiction. No myths there, and I consider that self-sabotage because of all the damage it does to them.

I've been through two and a half years of self sabotage, so it's quite real. It was so bad, that the only job I could get was a parking lot job. You can't have funny, coloured hair if you're going to work with the public, or a cynical attitude.

There are several members of this site that clearly sabotage themselves, mentioning no names though.

One important thing I learned from a study of psychology is that everyone builds up an internal belief system about the way they think the world is, who they are and how they relate to the world. When this belief system is established it is very difficult for people to change it. So for example if someone has extremely low self esteem and they are presented with something that would make their life better they tend to refuse to believe it or accept that good thing. Instead they cling to their misery because it is who they believe they are. You see it in their self talk: "I'm useless, a worthless person, a loser, nothing ever goes right for me, my friendships / relationships all fail etc...".

The irony is that people find it more disturbing / frightening to change their life from shite to good than to remain stuck in the shite. They spend their entire life complaining - and of course they tend to put the blame elsewhere, on society, on parents, on their school, upbringing, neighbourhood etc.

Such people block themselves and can't see opportunities when they are right in front of their face. They prefer to cling to their negative beliefs about themselves because that is how they define themselves.

So, yes, self-sabotage is very real. I see a number of people on this site doing it all the time.

^ Thanks for not mentioning my name

I think it's a very real issue and the reasons behind it I'm sure are complex. I do it sometimes.
To the OP, it's not as simple as saying someone wants to be sad or such.
One aspect I think is that sometimes what you know, even if it isn't particularly pleasant, is easier to deal with than what the unknown might hold. And also as already mentioned the deep rooted feeling of worthlessness.

Definitely real.

That reminds me of the thread about learned helplessness.

I think it's true that people start to sabotage themselves at some point, simply by avoiding everything that has led to bad experiences in the past, and because they feel they are incapable of changing the outcome in dreaded situations. I do that too. It's not easy to do something about this though.

I've tried a few times to become a more social person again and take control of my life, but it always ended the same way. Trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome is a hallmark of madness, and I'm not mad. Crazy, but not mad. If the world kicks you down whenever you try to stand up, you just stay down at some point.

it's been suggested to me that I have sabotaged my own relationship because I wasn't happy in it an being caught ruining it was maybe easier than addressing it. If there IS any truth to it, it's buried so far down that I am utterly utterly unaware of it... So if this is me sabotaging my life, I assure you my concious mind played no part in it!

Real. Cheap, destructive comforts are appealing. That goes for states of mind as much as anything else.