The ability / in-ability to tell lies

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modelmaker
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25 Feb 2012, 6:10 am

I've never been able to convincingly tell a lie, not even harmless little white lies.

I feel this my be down to me possibly having mild autism / aspergers.
Prior to me wondering if I may have mild aspergers, I just put this down to my moral compass (of being or trying to be completely truthfull.)

So..., Does anyone else feel they have the in-ability to lie about something ?


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Mithos
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25 Feb 2012, 6:14 am

modelmaker wrote:
I've never been able to convincingly tell a lie, not even harmless little white lies.

I feel this my be down to me possibly having mild autism / aspergers.
Prior to me wondering if I may have mild aspergers, I just put this down to my moral compass (of being or trying to be completely truthfull.)

So..., Does anyone else feel they have the in-ability to lie about something ?
The only time I tell lies is to get what I want, Money, Food, Cigarettes. I tend to lie to strangers. "Hey, I need a dollar for the bus." And so I go and buy a can of beer or something, I honestly have no shame. xD


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OliveOilMom
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25 Feb 2012, 6:57 am

A friend taught me to lie when I was about 17. I mean he actually gave me lessons. He explained the way to come up with a good lie, and how to deliver it. I'm great at it now. I could sell used cars if I wanted.


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KyleTheGhost
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25 Feb 2012, 7:02 am

I do. I can actually SAY a lie, but I am so uncomfortable with lying that when it comes to the part where it will be convincing and having anyone believe it, that I accidentally give myself away on purpose just so I don't have to follow through with the lie.


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25 Feb 2012, 7:49 am

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25 Feb 2012, 7:51 am

I can, have and most likely will lie again.. It feels generally very uncomfortable and shameful it's any more than a 'white' lie and I will avoid it if 'possible' so to speak.
as of late, the only dishonesty on my part has been to watered-down social worker types who I frankly don't consider worth the effort, so construct an abridged story, as consistent with truth as possible but normally laconic and somewhat exaggerated to save time when manipulating them to get assistance or to ward off their irksome meddling. This is still wrong but to hell with them..
And then I somewhat disguise the whole 'truth' of my mental illness and mental state when talking to my mother. She suffers from fibro myalgia amongst other things and I would that she were spared the noticeable distress caused, essentially by me being quite so f***Ed.
I wouldn't lie so much as not volunteer the whole unabridged truth voluntarily and if she enquires I divulge all. Still dishonest as far as I see it, but I hate the thought of her suffering because of my weaknesses..
With a few exceptions though I'lly tell almost anyone almost anything. Doesn't always go so well, especially since I cannot really stop, think and then speak.. But then to prepare a statement rather than simply blurt out thoughts would feel dishonest anyway.. :lol:



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25 Feb 2012, 11:12 am

Depends on the severity of the lie, but generally I've never been great with telling them, so I just don't even bother. I think part of the problem for me is that lies tend to complicate things, and life is complicated enough as it is. For those that lie to get by, I figure it to be like living dual lives. I don't even like imagining how messy that can wind up.


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25 Feb 2012, 11:16 am

I am pretty sure I have AS, but I can lie some.......in my family it has to be done to keep the peace sometimes, or at least the full truth cannot be told all the time. Also I already come off as weird so I think that might even make it harder for people to determine if I am being totally honest because they don't typically know what to expect anyways.

So I don't know that in itself indicates any form of autism, but I've heard its somewhat common for people on the spectrum to lack that skill if you can call it a skill. So it certainly does not indicate you don't have it either.


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25 Feb 2012, 11:49 am

I can lie, but people close to me, especially my sister, will know right away, so in that case I end up saying the truth thinking I'm saying a lie, so she picks up whatever vibe I give in those cases and thinks I'm lying. Lying in the phone is much easier though, my success rate there is high. And lying by omission is not a problem, too, my problems seems to be both having it hard to make up something on the spot, and feeling uncomfortable saying it, and both are not a factor if I just don't tell them what I don't want them to know.



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25 Feb 2012, 12:04 pm

I'm alright at lying most of the time, just as long as I can avoid smiling and giving it away :P



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25 Feb 2012, 12:06 pm

I have times when I look back at something I said and I tell myself "That was BS and I know it". But, at the time, I don't think I'm lying. I tell a subjective truth that might seem at fault if you look back on it. I think I deceive myself a lot into believing wrong things, and then I look back on myself, and I feel embarrassed about it.


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25 Feb 2012, 1:16 pm

I've never been good at it, and it always makes me feel so terrible.



eigerpere
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25 Feb 2012, 1:25 pm

This is something I've been dealing with a lot and has been taking up a big space in my mind lately. My closest friend has a lot of trouble telling the truth about the simplest things and it took me almost two decades myself to really get it or understand that. I'm the complete opposite. I've never really understood the purpose of lying. Maybe I haven't been around situations where I would need to lie but even if I had been I would have never been good at it or been able to do it anyway and would only get myself into trouble for not being able to effectively lie. It's beyond my skill set and my brain doesn't work that way at all. I lack imagination which likely contributes. I always assumed people would be more like myself and found out the hard way they aren't. To me it's a terrible betrayal to be lied to and don't like dealing with people who operate that way.



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25 Feb 2012, 1:30 pm

Little lies can be easier, but I find large lies harder. Or more correctly, I feel guilty after 'important' lies. I can lie, quite convincingly most of the time, but I can feel uncomfortable when I do it.



Niniel
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25 Feb 2012, 2:49 pm

I can tell lies, but I don't like it.



modelmaker
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25 Feb 2012, 2:58 pm

People have always said to me that I'm too honest.

Was paid twice after returning from illness back to work - had I not said anything I would've been a months wages better off !

Maybe its a sub-concious attempt by me hoping people would respect me more-so , or possibly my fear of my facial expressions / body language would give me away if I lied- I dont know, but there have been a few other occasions where I've been advized to be "more ecconomical with the complete truth" :lol: - I must've lost out on quite a lot when i think about it, due to the way I am, but tbh I cannot imagine myself ever changing.


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