stupid messages from strangers online

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How many people here hate stupid messages from strangers online?

Just wondering cause I just got pissed after some stranger sent me a message via an online profile (not a dating site) telling me I'm "very attractive" & that being online gave them "the gutz to say so" . These are the kinds of people I'd enjoy hurting... What am I supposed to be, flattered?! (Sorry, just needed to rant)

p.s. I did delete the message after having sibs look cause I was debating asking friends if they knew this person (unlikely)

Last edited by Peko on 21 May 2010, 6:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I wonder about those guys sometimes. I have a (not terribly active) Myspace profile for professional networking that lists my current projects on the About Me blurb. I had some guy write to tell me that "things don't always go the way we want them to" and I should write back to him. What? He considers himself the next best thing to abject failure? Just do what I did -- hit "delete."

I can understand the annoyance at getting messages from strangers, and I certainly don't recommend encouraging them, but as those of us with ASDs well know, complimenting people and approaching them socially can be next to impossible for some, and the illusion of anonymity of the Internet can make it less intimidating to communicate more openly than one normally might.

It may sound clumsy or stupid to you, especially since you're not looking to begin with, but unless he's said something genuinely offensive, there's no reason on trod on someone's feelings for greeting you and saying something nice, or trying to. Of course there's the possibility that it is someone creepy or someone doing a little phishing. I think I'd just ignore it and add it to the SPAM filter list.

While I must admit that I send random PMs, as my siggy suggests, they don't tend to contain such stupidity as the things you have mentioned. xP

It's usually a "Hi, I saw your nick/post/signature and thought you seemed cool, so I'm saying "hi". ... Hi." Or something like that, possibly with extra material on the same topic as something illustrated by whatever intrigued me. It's still stupid I admit, but usually not quite as irritating, I should think. ^^;;;

If I or anyone else bothers you with some stupid message, I must agree with pschristmas. I for one won't be too offended if a total stranger online decides they'd rather not talk to me, and anyone who is too offended by that needs a good whack in the face, or at least some lecturing. lol

That kind of message isn't the problem. I quite like getting messages from people who are genuinely interested in what I'm doing. It's the ones who write a lot of sentimental stuff and make it painfully clear that they haven't even bothered to look past the photo and register an unmarried middle-aged overweight female (in my case, that is, not in Peko's obviously.) Apparently, that combination translates to "desperate and stupid" in online dating language. I did finally go ahead and put something in the "Who I'm Looking For" slot. Even though I hadn't intended to use the profile this way, I figured "what the heck?" I actually get fewer unsolicited messages, now, so it seems to have done some good.

Some people, mostly Arabs, call me on Skype and they want to talk about sex. I pretend I don't speak English and I block them

I get messages like that quite a lot on email, dating sites, MySpace & other online communities. A lot of em are spammers/scammers who I'm willing to bet never even read my pro or any other info by me cuz the messages only contain stupid generic bull. I'm starting to feel like I'm the only real/honest person left online

I just delete them

I've only got a couple of the flirtatious messages. One was from a guy like 11 years older than me and I was underage at the time so I just deleted it. I've responded to a guy who asked an actual question, it turned out he wasn't flirting (which was sort of a relief, lol). It's much easier to respond to a question than a "hi ur cute" or something.

Well, this being the Internet and all, such behavior is expected, but not acceptable. I must be pretty lucky to not get such SPAM on message boards or e-mail myself because for whatever reason I really get PMs. On the other hand, in high school, I would have people come up to me in a matter that tends to happen online.

I love the fact that you created this topic because I receive messages from strangers all the time who just expect me to start talking to them even when I know not a thing about them. I don't know how they expect me to respond to some of the things they say to me, so I usually just don't respond at all.

I seem to mainly attract Turks for some reason, unknown to me.

Yeah, there are a lot of stupid creeps on the net. That's why we try not to make too personal of information accessible on the web. It's not even so much that there are more than IRL, but that the information doesn't require being social IRL or asking directly or anything.

Yeah, that's why I don't bother with dating sites anymore. I prefer to just chat with people with no significant pretense of starting a relationship, but also pretty honestly. If I get interested in someone, online or off, I will usually admit it, even if I know she won't be interested. One interesting quote I remember myself saying is "Uh, just to let you know, I'm kinda inclined to get a crush on a girl like you, so you know. So if I start saying something stupid or anything, and you're not liking it, just gimme a good whap and a 'no', okay? Or whatever works for you, lol.... I swear I won't get offended or anything. You're a really cool friend too, that I don't wanna lose."

I'm weird like that. xP

What bothers me more than messages from strangers is when someone I vaguely know says something like, "don't take this the wrong way, but you're very attractive." or "I don't mean to sound creepy or anything, but you're really cute."

Wrong way? What way is that? What way was I meant to take it? What way would you have thought I would take it?

Creepy? Why would you mention sounding creepy? Did you think you were being creepy when you told me I was cute? If so, why did you go ahead and tell me anyway?

My general rule for people: if you have to qualify your statement beforehand or apologize for saying it, perhaps you'd like to re-think whether you ought to say it at all. If you think I'm attractive and you can't just give me a straightforward compliment without all kinds of small print and safety statements, just keep it to yourself.

I don't mind genuine compliments. But compliments that require extra statements in case it was a bad idea to compliment me just confuse me and turn me off.

Lol, too true. It is really weird when people are like that. I've been hit on by guys in that fashion before also. Really creepy. If it's the right context I can at least say that I don't swing that way and move on, but like that it's just weird. Usually from a girl it's a little more excusable to me, probably because I like girls in that way, even if I'm not interested in that particular girl. It's kinda curious to me when a girl does that, because it's really uncommon, and may even spark my interest where there wasn't one before on rare occasions, assuming I like her as a friend at least. I'll admit that a girl can certainly creep me out that way too, but it's hard, and generally requires that she be a near-total stranger to me. At the worst I'll usually just not be interested in that way and try to move the conversation past that.

Honestly, I usually don't compliment a girl on her appearance unless it comes up in the conversation, like if she shows me a picture of her or she mentions make-up or something. A girl mentioning her make-up will almost always lead to me saying how I dislike too much make-up --more than just a little lipstick basically, which is also totally optional IMO-- and how I think she's really cute without any of it, whether or not I mean it flirtatiously. I won't lie though, if she doesn't look that good, which is rare to me (I usually find most people I like attractive for some reason. I have a weird tendency to subconsciously pick out the positive features of people I like and the negative ones of those I dislike in evaluating their appearances. I've been told my sense of beauty is strange that way.), and uses the make-up well to improve that, then I may just compliment her on the make-up.. xP

My friends always put extra statements b4 they compliment me b/c I can't tell genuine from fake compliments & I told them flat out I have the desire to physically harm people who genuinely compliment me (I like insults ).