Confession Online

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Hello, and welcome to Confession Online. Tired of having to make the time to go tell some old guy wearing a dress and a funny hat the most titillating moments of your week in order to maintain your booking at the Pearly Gates? Disappointed that your religion doesn't require the regular admittance of sin with a good dose of genuine remorse? Want the flexibility of being able to let your creator know what sinful acts have been corroding your soul online in between buying knock-off joggers on eBay and booking Marylin Manson concert tickets from scalpers on Craig's List? Well here it is...Redemption is now available online!

Please select your Divine Entity as you enter and leave a remorseful apology with a detailed description of your sinful acts as you leave.

Please Note: If your chosen Deity is not listed, then you are a dirty little heathen on route to hell...sorry about that.

Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been 17 years since my last confession. I have sinned as follows;

- I coveted my neighbour's turf...it was so succulent and thick...I schemed for many hours on how I could take some measures of this turf for my own backyard.
- I had sexual relations outside of marriage...many times...
- I have borrowed a variety of stationary from my employer, taken them home, and never returned them.
- I once concocted a scheme to set my own vehicle on fire...and did not follow through when I realized the conditions of my insurance had changed and were no longer as grossly in my favour.
- I have taken various items, such as teaspoons, glasses, shot glasses, and pens from establishments with the intent to deprive the rightful owners of their use.
- I have printed many documents on my work printing equipment for my own leisurely reading during extended toilet breaks.
- I have misled supermarket employees by misrepresenting vine-ripened tomatoes as field grown tomatoes.
- I have drunken to excess and spilled my seed on the ground.

Please accept my sincere apologies...won't happen again...cross my heart and stuff.

Your loving son always,

Guybrush

I choose God.

As far as I know, in sects that revere Fudo, remorse itself is a sin.. Though one assumes a different interpretation of the word sin and maybe remorse too..
As for God, he already knows what's the point?

Dear god not listed,

I'm a dirty little heathen.

Yours truly,
TeaEarlGreyHot

Mine's not listed. Why is Yoda missing on the list?

TeaGreyEarlHot: oh snap...no confessions from you then...I'll allow my imagination to provide details of your filthy heathen ways :p

PastFixations: because you are a heathen. You are going to hell I'm afraid.

Kk...kool aid break...