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Smallville22
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30 May 2012, 12:02 pm

I spend a lot of time on facebook, it's where I feel I can vent and basically have a blog where I know at least some people will read. But I'm getting really sick of and hurt by others posting things like "i wish some people would stop posting stupid s**t! nobody likes it" It just seems really ignorant, and I definitely don't go around judging what is stupid and what is not (even tho I may think about it for a second, but I get over it). I may get into debates or whatnot, but my true friends and family understand I'm just trying to voice my honest logical opinions.

Anyway (sorry I go on and on) It was a family member that posted this, and I can be a little irrational and paranoid and think everything is about me. But I had just vented about my mom and my pregnancy in a recent post. So to her post about ppl posting stupid s**t, I commented "thats kinda mean" to let her know how it may affect people she's talking about whom she may not understand. Well, she deleted my comment. So I deleted her off my friends list, because I found that to be incredibly insulting, like my opinion and feelings didn't matter at all and I can't be myself. I can't tell if I'm just being irrational, or if I did the right thing. She always criticizes (incidentally right after I vent, almost every time.)

I know facebook probably isn't the best place to vent, and not everyone is going to understand asperger's. I should probably move it to this website. But I'd like to get other's input from here. Anyone have experience with this? It really sucks lol



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30 May 2012, 12:08 pm

I've learned that Facebook is not the place to vent. At all. Most people get on there to brag, or to have fun, or to socialize. They don't want anything bringing them down. I've learned that I cannot put anything on there that is political or religious, either.

You can vent here. This is the place. This is where most people will be sympathetic to whatever is going on with you, because chances are somebody here has also experienced what you are going through.

Welcome to Wrongplanet!



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30 May 2012, 12:12 pm

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to Random Discussion]


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30 May 2012, 12:13 pm

I'm always careful about sharing(or oversharing) on facebook. I've seen my sister do this, and my father, and I've personally experienced what the effects of this was. So I would recommend perhaps making another pseudonym facebook account where you blog, and keep your realname-account clean. Or just stay anonymous on these forums, and vent here.


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Smallville22
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30 May 2012, 12:23 pm

I'm really glad I found this site. I feel like I'm now on the "Right Planet" lol. I don't care about socializing in the NT sense. I honestly don't understand it at all. I really don't care to hear about how people's day went at the grocery store, or what is going on in their social lives, or partying. I only care about things that pertain to me as well, and this seems like the perfect place. I do feel like I'm obligated to keep my facebook activated to post pictures and updates of my pregnancy. (I'm 2 months) But I don't understand that either. It's for everyone else. I'm not the type to hold pictures in front of people and expect a reaction. When my stepmom got engaged to my dad, she sent pictures to our phones of the proposal, and showed me her ring excitedly when she got home. She was very angry and devastated when there was no "emotional party" going on and I just said "nice" without smiling or anything. Why it is so important for others to show excitement, I will never know.



Smallville22
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30 May 2012, 12:33 pm

To the moderator, I thought this was Aspie related. I have Asperger's and it's about the troubles I face in life. I'm very confused 8O



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30 May 2012, 12:37 pm

Yeah you have to be extremely careful what you put on Facebook because almost anybody can read it. I don't like posting my deepest and most private thoughts on Facebook. If I have something to say I either write it in my online diary or this website. Also, I keep everything Asperger's related and save it for this website only. It's almost like two different lives for me focusing on different things.



Alfonso12345
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30 May 2012, 12:47 pm

I don't even waste my time on Facebook. I just use sites that allow me to be anonymous because I prefer to be able to talk about myself without people knowing who I am. I've gotten lots of helpful advice on anonymous sites, including this one. I don't really know about very many sites like this one, so I can't say for sure if this is the best one or not, but this is a great place to talk about Asperger's and anything related. The other forums on the site are good too.

Smallville22 wrote:
To the moderator, I thought this was Aspie related. I have Asperger's and it's about the troubles I face in life. I'm very confused 8O


I think it might have just gotten moved because it was mostly about Facebook and the comments of others, even though part of the post was about Asperger's.



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30 May 2012, 1:06 pm

Alfonso12345 wrote:
I don't even waste my time on Facebook.


I closed my account, mainly because my wall was full of crap from people who I didn't really know. I don't give a monkeys what a virtual stranger thinks of some band I've never heard of or what someone else ate for breakfast or comments about some "celebrity" breakup.

It definitely doesn't seem a place to express problems or ask for help!


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30 May 2012, 1:08 pm

I think facebook is the best used to browse profiles of other uses and groups but not to post or write in anything yourself, the less you write, the better I think. Every press on the keyboard leaves traces in facebook's log. Just make a total anonymous account, fake name, fake picture...



Smallville22
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30 May 2012, 1:17 pm

Thank you for clarifying :D And thank you to everyone who posted and continues to post, this is the most feedback I've ever gotten in my life. It's the first time I feel normal



Alfonso12345
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30 May 2012, 1:52 pm

Smallville22 wrote:
Thank you for clarifying :D And thank you to everyone who posted and continues to post, this is the most feedback I've ever gotten in my life. It's the first time I feel normal


You have found a place where you fit in and can always get good feedback from people. I try to give as much feedback as I can, but I sometimes have a difficult time thinking of helpful feedback.



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30 May 2012, 2:43 pm

I didn't like Facebook and deactivated my account. I wish my relatives would just use email, because while Facebook was a good way to keep in touch with them, it wasn't worth the problems I had with it - privacy issues, time wasting, feuds, too much to list here.

Maybe you'd be happier with a regular blog, and just posting on FB with a link to your blog when you make a blog post. Or you could drop FB altogether, but I've found people won't come to my blog unless they see links to it regularly. There are lots of free blogging sites.



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30 May 2012, 3:34 pm

I hae found myself having irresistable urges to write random stuff on Facebook. I've got to stop though, because sometimes it gets a bit much and can have an affect on other people's friendships with me.

Once I almost accidentally went to post something on someone else's wall when I wasn't meant to. So each time I post something on my wall, I always make sure I'm on MY wall and nobody else's!


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Cornflake
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30 May 2012, 3:51 pm

Smallville22 wrote:
To the moderator, I thought this was Aspie related. I have Asperger's and it's about the troubles I face in life. I'm very confused 8O
The whole site is Aspie related, but we try to keep threads in the areas best suited to their topics or most likely to gain the best response and since this thread is devoted entirely to a series of criticisms of Facebook - that it's too general an environment to expect much understanding of Asperger's, that other Facebook users post derogatory statements, that anonymity can be tricky on Facebook, that Facebook can be far too public a place, that Facebook clearly serves more of a social function than a support function, etc etc - Random Discussions would be a more suitable place for it.

So, it's basically a Facebook bashing session (nothing wrong with that at all :lol: ) and as such, I feel it will reach a wider audience here in one of the busiest forums on WP. People in the General Autism Discussion forum are more focused on discussions of Asperger's and Autism themselves or specific difficulties related directly to them: general criticisms about Facebook - even from an Aspie - wouldn't really fit in with that.
I hope the reason for the move is a bit clearer now. :wink:


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