The Origins of Negativity on WP

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Over time I have noted many mentions of Negativity on WP and decided to launch a independant investigation into the causes. A thorough study quickly revealed two main causes, and an very unexpected connection to the alternating colors of the post.

1. OTHERWORLDLY INFLUENCE

A. Demons inhabit blue posts.



If your post will end up with a blue backround, beware. When you are writing your post you must concentrate on what you are doing totally and not let your mind wander or get up for a soda, and never ever stare blanky at the screen. Plan your post ahead of time and get in and out as fast as possible. If you don't you open youself up for being possessed by the demons who will twist and warp what you write for their own depressing purposes. Remember, demons want you to be negative.

B. Fairies, Sprites and Winkles inhabit green posts.



Backround checks revealed that the green posts fall under the jurisdiction of Mother Nature, or just 'Nature'. No real special precautions need to be taken when your post will end up with a green backround. This is because Nature's minions which inhabit them are very good and benevolent creatures and at most will improve your post with some magic optimism dust.

2. SNARKS

As part of my investigation I contacted Internet Police Headquarters and spoke with Inspector Harris who specializes in Internet Gang activity. After sending him some suspected posts, he identified elements consistant with the Keyboard Snarks, one of the oldest and most pervasive gangs on the web.



Keyboard Snarks typically operate by ridiculing any idea or thought posted by anyone else, and over time will suppress all but routine posts that do not require thought. It is not known how they profit by this so it is widely believed to be a simple intimidation tactic used to establish their turf.

How to minimalize the effects of Snarks



I spoke with Inspector Harris at length on preventive measures, but he said the samples we sent indicate level 2 infestation, and suggested we apply to get into NATO and then request Obama deploy his missile screen. When I asked if there was a way to get the missile screen without joining NATO, he said he would have his cousin contact me. But until the screen is up and running the best anti-snark method is to imagine the Snark does not exsist on the same plane and that their posts are invisible.

Nailed it.

Oh, so THAT is what has been happening!

Thank you so very much for elucidating!

Sylkat

Bahahaha! I was wondering what was going on.

So the resident vampire pretends to be surprised that there are demons lurking about?

Pots and kettles, perhaps??

Sylkat

Oh yeah. True enough.

Vampires don't kill people, its the pointy teeth that do. But really, you can't tell a book by its Avatar. If you just went by those, it would look like a good ammount of the members are demons.

P.S. Can demons be on the Spectrum ? Whats an autisic demon like ?

Hmmmmm, that IS a good question, and why has this not been brought up before?
Possibly:
'Does not play well with other demons'?

Sylkat

That's a very interesting way to look at it.

Yes, and how do demons have birthday parties ? How can they wear those cheap pointy party hats with their horns, and wouldn't the hats burst into flames ?

Perhaps the Autistic ones just sit around staring into the mesmerizing flames of Hell (or Birthday candle flames), instead of getting to work tempting humans to sin.

Sylkat

What is this again?

Not all demons are evil - This thread reminds me of a demon whose goal in life is to kick Satan's ass! (a cookie to anyone who knows what I'm talking about)

There was a foreign film from the 1980's, I think, wherein the demon, female, and nude in the first scenes, was actually doing God's will...
Strange film, may have even been in black and white......

Sylkat

One for each horn, silly.