Angry on Christmas?

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This is a thread for anyone who's angry during the holiday. If, for any reason, you feel angry, vengeful, or just generally unsatisfied this Christmas, post your feelings here. That said, I'll continue without further ado...

I'm angry at myself this holiday. For the coldness I showed my mother, who works very hard and still can barely keep us alive, I despise myself. For having AS, which bothers me to no end, I feel like a terrible person. The absolute lack of feeling I showed towards those that care most about me, and all the hard times they've had to deal with. I thought I'd be alright having found out exactly WHAT was wrong with me (when I found out I had AS), but that's just not enough. I realize that knowing the problem isn't enough to let you fix it. My mind is a tangled web of emotion now, and it's eating me up inside. I really wish there was something I could do about it, but... As always, I'll be on my own to deal with it. Because even though she doesn't think so, my mother just can't be there for me. She's got too many problems to be dealing with mine, as well. And of course, the fact that she doesn't really believe I have AS isn't helping my situation much.

I'm angry at those around me this holiday. Christmas is not gifts, people! It's warmth and love, and expressing your feelings to the ones who mean the most to you. My mom tried to create the perfect Christmas by relying on an outside source to get some of my gifts, and you know what? The only gifts I liked were the few she got me herself. So then, I asked, why bother with all the pretentious crap? Because you see, folks, apparently it isn't the thought that counts, but the quality and quantity of gifts you get that holds meaning. This world makes me sick.

I can't believe it! This the first Christmas in my entire 27 years of life that I have NO Spirit. The nostalgia is gone, it feels so meaningless to me. I feel like that it is just an overrated and over commercialized holiday. Its not the same as it was when my brothers and I were little. That excitement is gone now. Believe it or not, its actually annoying me when someone wishes me a Merry Xmas.

Instead I feel sad and will be glad when Christmas comes and GOES! We're not really having a christmas this year because my parents are having financial troubles. My dad's work truck just required a $10,000.00 repair. My younger brother is broke because he recently built a racecar, and my older brother just bought a new condo. All this stuff happened right as Christmas was approaching. Bummer!! !! Anyways......

Another thing that might be affecting me too is 2006, it hasn't been a good year at all. I lost my best friends, my cat of 13yrs. and got moved to place I hate. So as a result I have been suffering bad depression for the last 7mos too. Yuck!

All I can say is, I hope 2007 is better year for myself and my family. We'll see what happens!

Aside from my previous post, I in general am an angry person. I have a lot of resentment and hostile emotions built up inside. Thanks to my damn Apsergers, I just don't know how to, "get over" things and let them go. I'm not very forgiving either, if someone hurts me, its take a long time before I will trust them again. If at all! I have an aunt/uncle that I have no trust or respect for, matter of fact they were just here today. There is tension between them, me, and my parents. The aunt/uncle are just a**holes, they think they are "High Society" and also are VERY opionated and think their way is the only way. They have something against my parents, my mom and uncle are brother and sister, so basically he got something against his own sister. Aunt/Uncle do not accept me, they just think I am just a worthless nothing, they hate me for even existing I think. OH well F-them!! ! They think and do whatever the hell they want. I go my way and they go theirs. I hate when I have to be around them, they give me such anxiety, errrrrrrr!! !!

That seems pretty sad. Do they know you have Aspergers?

I don't have any family where I live; my parents live far away, which is OK, bc I'm not that close to them.

Anyway, I spent Xmas Eve with some "friends" who I don't know too well. There was the mom, the boyfriend, the grandma, and 2 kids, and the whole time, all the attention was on the kids. The mom (who is supposedly my friend) pretty much ignored me, and I spent time walking into other rooms and thinking.... why am I here? How could this be any fun?

Then, for Xmas, I spent some time with a friend, who I usually enjoy, but the conversation was boring so I decided to go home.

Here is what I am angry about, and it's exacerbated because it's a holiday: I spend time with people, and it ends up making me feel much more lonely. But the Catch-22 is that you have to spend time with them to "get to know them". It is experiences like the ones I just had that make me feel like a "freak" or like there is no one I want to get to know. Ugh.

Yup. mad as hell. i kept putting a lid on it but there's only so long i can go on pretending that everything is just peachy keen.

so what finally set me off was that i came here to WP - i am very grateful to WP - but on this particular occasion, i saw a message that said something like "why don't you shut up maggot." not to me. but who needs to hear that?

well i get the distinct impression that some people aren't bothering to stagger through without showing the stress. why, if they're annoyed, they just let fly like Krakatoa!
i would too, i wish i could, i've forgotten how. or maybe i've forgotten what satisfaction saying "shut up maggot" is supposed to give me.

oh i'll just go have another nap. if i have enough of them, xmas will be over, and new years too, and we can get back to being too winded from shovelling snow to say much.

I was very mad last year and I have no idea why :/

I was not mad at all but I do not like the stress it puts people under. Namely women
worrying about making sure all their friends and love ones have a good Christmas
and getting tired and stressed out doing it. Hell birthdays are enough and spead out in the year so I say stop Christmas. Hell if its Christ birthday why give present to your slob realtives. How about give the money to promote Christiany in Africa by building up communities? Wait my bad it has nothing to do with religion.

I've felt like that, ten years ago. I was offering to help my mum prepare the snacks, and she yelled that she was fine, and that she sould do them herself. I was so angry, that I've stormed into my bedroom, and my mum walkedin an hour an da half later, to see me counting my money.

I was a little annoyed this X-mas, but that was only because I was sick all weekend and missed my family's get together for the holiday. I got a little depressed, because I put a bit of work getting them to come together for for holiday, and then stayed home anyways.

Other than that, sure, the magic of X-Mas has faded. Of course, if when I am back in a relationship or I ever have a family with kids it will come back I'm sure (although it might never be as happy a time as when I was young).

I've found that the magic of christmas has faded for me, as well.

I've found that the only way i can get through Christmas in one piece is to sleep through it.

I guess I'm angry on Christmas, because everybody is expected to be happy, every moment of that day, and that's something that I just can't do.

Now, did that make anyone feel better? I know I felt better after posting my own reasons for being angry on Christmas. It's really just not my kind of holiday, especially after all the commercialization.

And to TheMachine1, Christmas isn't Jesus' birthday, it's the celebration of it. At least, that's what Christian Apologetics tells us. I see it as just another wat for them to excuse their own past of deceit and treachery. I mean, why celebreate the guy's birthday almost 6 months after it happened? Perhaps to satisfy the Greeks, Romans and Mithraists? Hmmm, no, that couldn't possibly be the reason...