Alternative wrote:
I Want a true companion soo much.
I can agree with that... It's terribly lonely, living in a place where no one understands you. I am by myself all the time; I spend the vast majority alone, in my room, thinking. Even when surrounded by others, I feel distant; I feel like a shadow, sitting in the corner watching the world move forward, as people pass me by without notice. It is rare for others to even hear me when I do speak, which isn't very often.
I need someone to hold, someone to talk to, someone willing to listen who can be there for my physically and emotionally. I need encouragement, I need motivation, and I need a sense of belonging. I know I need a lot, but I've gone so long without it... I've been miserable all my life, since the first day I can remember. And it doesn't help that all my (female) friends send me confused messages, acting very physical but having no real interest. It's not that I want sex; the act means very little to me. I just want someone to hug, who I care about and I know cares about me.