Leaving here

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Even other autistics won't accept me I'm so socially ret*d. I have music and I have art, so f**k this place, f**k everyone. I will retreat to music, because clearly there is no place for me here or anywhere. Small talk hasn't worked, topical humor hasn't worked, and humor hasn't worked, so I have nothing.

Have a wonderful damn night, I'll be trying to find somewhere I belong.

Why do you feel you don't belong? I wish you didn't feel that way, but I know that nothing I say will really have much of an effect on your feelings.

My tenure in chat, life and the forums here has shown me I belong only to where the music notes wander, the only place that has ever accepted me.

I was stupid to think I would find a place to belong anywhere, even among other autistics. I'm just too socially ret*d apparently, so I will just lose myself in the few things I can do right.

I pretty much feel the same way. While I do enjoy reading other people's posts, I don't quite feel I fit in with other posters or I belong here. Somehow I feel I am off even among other people with AS/autism on WP. I feel I'm lacking something. I once tried the chatroom on WP. I would never go back there again. However, I can't think of any other place where I can feel as comfortable as I do here.

No need to leave, if you enjoy music you can try forums that are specifically for discussing music. I have no idea where your coming from but don't leave because you don't fit in. I made this mistake over 7 times in 7 communities (this is my 9th). I too make people uncomfortable i when i get out of control (when i display my obsessiveness.) and left because i did not want to do harm but all it does is accumulate regret. I never went back to apologize because i was so ashamed of myself, now my past mistakes and harm i did to those people that shared my interest in social gaming haunt me. And now i am too timid to return to those beloved communities but i know they might forgive me for my absence. I honestly think i wasted my time on the forums but i always find myself coming back when i get home from school. saying that you don't belong is either putting yourself ahead of others or below and both are wrong. The best friend i ever had didn't really knew or cared about autism, even asking him to research it he refused. I felt really upset then later that day i realized that he didn't need to know the name of my disorder as he will always like me for who i am and that was enough for him. There are over 7 billion people on this planet you may find a place to "belong" to and with the internet niche groups can now connect with anyone around the world unlike anything us humans had access to in the last few hundred years and it will only get better. (or worse )

Honestly i don't see how music accepts you. I don't know, the Chibis in my ego/mind/head accept me for what i am.

Last edited by Proxy_Trump on 22 Feb 2013, 10:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I already post my music in the Musician's Showcase. nobody listens to it. Whenever I post a band I get no response.

Most people hate me, but fine. f**k 'em. They only treated me like crap pretty much...metal is for the outcasts anyways. In Flames's Soundtrack to Your Escape and Mudvayne's LD 50 understand me.

I've almost left WP a couple years ago this time because a bunch of the younger crowd were saying nasty things about the frequency that I posted about The Kinks. I try not to post about them so much these days. The Queen Bee might be standing around the corner ready to pounce on me, if I mention too many things about The Kinks or Mick Avory. I'm glad I've decided to stay. I was very anxious that weekend.

^ Why would they do that? I mean, WP is an autistic/AS forum. You'd think this would be the one place it'd be okay to go on and on about things like that. They sound kinda rude. :/

I'd hate to see you go.

You must be quite knowledgeable about The Kinks rant on about that much, it shows that you found something to appreciate. No need to go underground, you could just be cleaver about it like aspieotaku. (i lurk these forums too much..)



People like this exist everywhere, let it be Nts', aspies, whatever. Nt's sometimes use insults as jokes sometimes to cover up a recent mistake they have made or to help boost their ego after they took a blow to the confidence. I used to do this once in awhile but now i found better ways to cope with my doubts and sorrow... kinda. There are more reasons why people do this but i merely listed a few i picked up after my siblings and peers. Insults are addictive(not using the medical definition), they just make you feel better about yourself but after leaving that habit behind i feel like a better person. Oh man not to mention when somebody does it behind their backs!

Last edited by Proxy_Trump on 22 Feb 2013, 10:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

So you're just going to give up? You're just going to be a lonely, bitter recluse the rest of your life? You want to die alone?

"No man is an island." - John Donne

People have problems with others all the time. Sometimes it is the fault of one, sometimes the other. But in my experience, it is usually both and neither want to admit it.

Though the fact that you posted this thread (and reply to it) makes me wonder if you really want to quit or if you're making a bid for attention. Not that I'm trying to condemn a bid for attention, but understanding could help tailor responses.

N a bid for attention, just letting people know so they don't try to contact me.

However, I have changed my mind. Even if I am socially ret*d, I can at least continue to try. This is just response from my extremely depressed state from years of emotional abuse, and if I give in then they have won. I won't give up, I seriously was considering leaving here.

However, that would be counterproductive. This is the closest I've found to a place I belong, and I just need to change some things.

That's... rather upsetting. I hope no one gets on my case for fixating on the Japanese language or anything.

I'll echo everyone else, ST: I think you should stay. If anyone's treating you badly, you should report them. Otherwise, only use this forum as it behooves you. If there's even one board that has helped you, it would suck if you could no longer use it as a resource/support. You don't have to post elsewhere.