When people are offered an upstairs apartment:-
Hello, Mr Landlord, I would like to rent an apartment, please
Certainly, Miss. We only have upstairs available
Anything will do, we're desperate
We value people in our upstairs apartments, so we will give you an offer of a free pet
Oh, thank you
We have got a butterfly, a mouse, a cat, and a large elephant. You may pick one
Oh, the elephant, please!
Wonderful choice. Keep him indoors at all times. Now, for all our upstairs apartment tenants, we like to offer a job working from home so you won't have to leave the apartment much. How would you like to be a basketball tester?
Oh, that sounds different. How do I do that?
You'll get sent 10 new basketballs a day and you have to test them by shooting them through hoops in your very own living-room. It's why we have hardwood floors!
Ooh, excellent. I will take the job. What else?
You also get a free pair of shoes that you can wear at all times when in your apartment and they never wear out! They're made with heavy concrete soles and you can play basketball in them. They may make you stumble and fall over sometimes but you'll be OK!
Great, I wouldn't say no to free shoes that never wear out!
Great, welcome to your new home and job, you're to move in next week! And if the downstairs neighbours complain about any noise then just tell them that they can't stop you from moving around in your own home during the day, that should guilt them off. Enjoy!
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Female