When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door...

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...what do you say to them?

I usually just smile and nod. They make me nervous. (It's not what they believe that makes me nervous; it's just the fact that they're there at my house trying to convert me.)

Hate when they come but usually I don't have to do much as I have a very large German Shepard who goes crazy when people come to the door and they usually leave

It depends how comfortable you are in what you believe in. I have a friend who will invite them to sit outside on his front porch and let them talk to him, but on the condition that he has the opportunity to share his Christian faith with them afterwards.

As for me (if I answered the door and I usually do not), I would probably let them know that I already have a church that I attend and tell them to have a nice day.

I'm a Mormon

Usually as soon as I say that, even if I invite them in for a lemonade or hot chocolate (Depending on what season...) they won't stick around.

... and I say "Boy are YOU at the wrong house, you poor f***er."

hmmm...depends what mood i'm in...if i was in an adaptable mood then i'd get on my hands and knees and proceed to blabber giberish. or i may put on some angry death metal music and wet my hair....hmm...if i was in a whatever mood then i'd just open door, see them, and then close the door. if i was in a good mood then i'd listen to what they had to tell me and probably day dream as they preached to me.

I was going to say . . .

all you have to do (whether you are one or not) is to say that you're Mormon, and yes, they do pretty much leave you alone. It's a pretty handy tool to have in your back pocket!

And yes, I'm a Mormon too. . .

Now here's a question -- I have an Aspie son on a Mormon mission. When he comes to the door of a Jehovah's Witness, do they say they are of the Jehovah's Witness persuasion just to get him to go away?

Actually, I believe JWs are not allowed to take texts from other religions (or at least that's what a missionary told me he'd been told...but he could have just been told that to get him to go away )

Because I live in Maine though...where we'll have parts of the year that are very cold...and other parts that are yucky hot, humid and sticky...And they're usually out on foot...I usually offer some sort of refreshments

We don't get anything like that.

I feel like, next time they come, doing a Jacob's Ladder on them, although I might get whiplash.....

I'm socialily phobic and hate when anybody comes to my door. At work some JW's
tried to get me to take some literature from them. They usually want you to make a small donation to. Not sure what I did. Anyway I did find it kinda interesting how they
said in the new world after Christ returns even wild animals will live in peace. Like Tigers stop attacking zebras. Thats the way I would want it where the evolutionary
dog eat dog world is destroyed and replaced. But I'm an atheist and know evolution
is all there is.

I usually just say "no thanks" and shut the door.

I would like to say: "write your address down here and if I feel the need to talk about your religion I will come and do so on your doorstep"

I'm a Pagan, so they tend to back away without much prompting.

We rarely get that here. If it's the Witnesses, I will just say "No thank you" and shut the door (or window if I'm on my own). You shouldn't generally be too rude to people outside your front door if you can help it: they know where you live, after all.

I tell them I'm an atheist and direct them to http://www.richarddawkins.net. Then I give them contact info for the Cult Information Service, and remind them that they're still young enough to have a life.