Knowing the reason behind those remarkes?

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,589
Location: Near London United Kingdom

07 Jul 2013, 6:35 pm

When I was 7 years old my late grandmother said to me while she put me to bed "I love you more than Jonathan" (Jonathan is my younger brother.)

She said this to me only 2 or 3 months before she became really ill and died of cancer. My theory was that she made those remarks because she knew she was ill would not live much longer and hence wanted me to know her true feelings. My gran did also say from what memory serves me "Don't ever tell Jonathan what I am about to say"

However I was discussing this on yahoo answers and someone commented "I think she may have just said that to make you feel better"


Even if what that person on yahoo said was not true why do you think sometimes people may say things like that to make somebody feel better?



MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 14,565
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

07 Jul 2013, 6:47 pm

Oh, all the time. I guess it depends on her relationship with your brother, if you ask me.

If she had a good relationship with him, chances are she was trying to make you feel better. The question is: did it work?


_________________
Hi there! Please refer to me as Moss. Unable to change my username to reflect that change. Have a nice day. <3


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,589
Location: Near London United Kingdom

07 Jul 2013, 7:06 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
Oh, all the time. I guess it depends on her relationship with your brother, if you ask me.

If she had a good relationship with him, chances are she was trying to make you feel better. The question is: did it work?



According to my parents my grandma did not really know my brother that well. Although maybe my parents were saying that to make feel better also?


Also most childhood pictures are with my grandma and my brother. Kind of made me sctach my head because I thought me and my gran had the closest bond yet there are hardly any pictures of me and her when I was between ages 1-7 :( Granted there are quite a lot of pics of me and her when I was a new-born but there is a difference between being a child and a baby :)



jk1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,817

07 Jul 2013, 7:21 pm

It's really hard to tell whether she meant it or not now, but she could have really meant it. Realistically both could be true. Unfortunately you probably can never know the truth unless your gran obviously didn't like your brother.

The reason why anyone would say anything like that to make other people feel better is usually because it's nice when the people around you (particularly your family and friends) are feeling happy. I think it's similar to people making some other positive comments such as "your new hairstyle is nice" even though they don't really think it's nice.

Having said that, it's still very possible that your gran actually meant what she said. There's not really any reason for her to lie and say such a thing if she didn't feel in that way. Especially considering that she knew she didn't have much time left, she could have been really serious.



Popsicle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 May 2006
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,574

09 Jul 2013, 10:37 am

It is possible she was a bit emotionally or mentally addled toward the end. That is not a nice burden to put on any child in my personal opinion.

It is also possible she said the same thing to your brother - that he was her favorite. There would only be one way to find out.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

10 Jul 2013, 1:59 pm

Were you & your brother fighting around the time?


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition