Animal jokes

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Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.

After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.

Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping."

The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."

What's the difference between a grocery store cat and a hardware store cat?

A grocery store cat sits on the beans and peas and a hardware store cat sits on the nuts and screws.

"Look over there!" said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?"

The second skunk calmly replied, "Let us spray."

Two guys are walking thru the woods when they see a charging Grizzly Bear. First guy says "Run for it!" Second guy says, "You can't outrun a Grizzly!" First guy says "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU."