So, 2-3 years ago my neighbor (who is also my mom's friend) decided to loan me $12,000 so that I could do a tattoo apprenticeship. She saw the potential I had and she had heard that you could make a lot of money tattooing (mostly by ripping people off and taking advantage of the ignorance of others, come to find out).
I was excited about this endeavor. It had been something I wanted to do. I thought, "Hey, these people seem weird. Maybe they will be like minded." Well, mostly they weren't. Most of the people just like that "edgy" look. There's nothing independent about their thought at all. I didn't think it could happen, but I'm too "weird" to be a tattoo artist. Come to find out, I suck at entertaining people who are boring and having to touch someone for an extended period of time wasn't for me. I had potential, I know if I had stuck with it I could have been very good and I'm not an egotistical, I hardly ever admit to my own potential.
But unfortunately, and ofcourse, the social part of the entire scenario got me f****d up. Not knowing how to act around certain people, not knowing when people are being sarcastic or not...I ended up getting f****d over pretty bad after finally deciding to become socially-involved with coworkers. It completely soured any ambition I had towards tattooing.
Now, I still owe my neighbor about 8-$9,000. I currently am unemployed so I haven't been able to pay her a steady amount. She complains to my mom behind my back about how I need to get my s**t together and pay her cause she thought she would have been paid up by now. She had assumed I'd be making "hella dollars" (as some might pronounce), like a lot of people assume when it comes to tattooing. Of course, no one anticipated I would have given up but, I always wonder if she hadn't assumed that I would be making "hella dollars" would she have still loaned me the money? Anyway, she always complains about how I haven't paid her. Then she brags to my mom about all the money she has and how she goes shopping and how she has investments and all this. So, my mom tells me about the complaining. I go to the neighbor (who I sometimes hang out with as a supposed friend) and I tell her that I'm sorry I haven't paid her for awhile and she just acts like it's no big deal. She says things like, "Oh! Don't worry about it. I know where you live." And whenever I talk to her about my "issues" she pretends to sympathize with me. It makes me want to just say, "Hell, f**k it. I'm saving up my money to move out of the country and I'm never going to see you again!"
I hate the pretentiousness of people. It gives me anxiety and makes it hard for me to make a decision. I am currently trying to find a job so that I can pay back this woman. Does anyone have any other advice? Whether it can practically apply to the situation or just something to calm my thoughts or a way to think about it? It would be greatly appreciated. When I start to think about it, I just want it all to be over with. I feel like I'm going to explode into a bunch of different directions, I become frantic inside.
23 Oct 2013, 6:21 pm
