my husband dislikes people saying 'is that nice?'

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Caz72
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10 Dec 2013, 1:09 pm

what i mean is, when my husband is eating something like a meal or dessert, he really hates when other people ask, 'is that nice, Tim?'
it just bothers him, annoys him. i know they are only asking to be polite and all that but he always answers as 'does it look like I'm enjoying it?'' Now he tells everyone to not ask him that annoying question while he is enjoying something. he has Adhd by the way, and sometimes i think if has some aspie traits too.

i was just wondering, if anyone else get easily annoyed when being asked these type of questions?



Uprising
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10 Dec 2013, 1:55 pm

For real.

It's one of the things that can twist my mood to the extreme and it is one of the most annoying questions you can ask a person when he/she is eating imo.

Might have to do with some sensory issues or bad motorics and the fact that for an aspie guy like me, being forced to answer a question while having a mouth full, is like being stopped as a couple in the middle of intercourse for a moment to turn off the beeping dishwasher, as barbaric as it sounds.

Perhaps the best solution to this is to ask the question when he's done eating and his throat is clear.



redrobin62
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10 Dec 2013, 5:37 pm

It wouldn't bother me if someone interrupted me to ask "is that nice?" As a matter of fact, "isn't that nice?" is one of my catchphrases.



nick007
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10 Dec 2013, 5:52 pm

I'm only really bothers when the person asking is annoyed with me because they're assuming I don't like it. My mom does that to me sometimes because I'm eating slow or not eating because it's too hot. She complains about me being a picky eater & assumes I'm not eating rite because I'm being overly picky & don't like how she cooked it. She says something like "you don't like it" with a mean attitude which annoys me.


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Joe90
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11 Dec 2013, 1:27 pm

I get annoyed when being asked that question too! I know that the question is only one of those friendly types of questions, but it's still annoying. I don't get annoyed because of not wanting to talk whilst eating though, because I like to talk when eating. It's just that I prefer to be asked questions what apply a conversational answer, not just ''yes'', what they all knew the answer would be anyway. Yes I know it's only asked to be polite but sometimes too much politeness can become annoying, a bit like too much friendliness can become creepy to some NTs.


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11 Dec 2013, 3:46 pm

It annoys me a little bit when people say stuff like that (I can also really relate to nick007's comment), but not as much as it seems to bother your husband. I usually just say "yes, thanks" and try not to prolong the conversation.

I'm much more bothered by people's comments when I cook something. You know, over-exaggerated comments like "this is the best x that I've ever had, mmm-mmm yum" bother me. I don't mind people saying something small, like "this is good" or "thanks for making this", but when they go on and on about how good it is and make all kinds of sound effects, it really grates on my nerves. I'm not really sure why, other than maybe because it seems fake or maybe because I can't eat and instead have to keep thanking them for their excessive praise, or a combination of both those things. So I can definitely understand where your husband is coming from.



jrjones9933
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11 Dec 2013, 4:45 pm

It seems selfish that he wants to make everyone else take responsibility for his attitude. Instead of telling others what they should and should not say, he could get in the habit of saying something nice about the food after taking a bite or two. It seems more practical than trying to explain sensory issues.

Often, adapting turns out to be easier than demanding accommodation. Save the latter for when you really need it. TBH, a lot of people's questions really annoy me, especially the ones that they repeatedly ask. But if I know that they will ask it, then I can proactively fulfill their social need on my own terms instead of giving them the ability to control my mood.



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11 Dec 2013, 9:10 pm

Uprising wrote:
Might have to do with some sensory issues or bad motorics and the fact that for an aspie guy like me, being forced to answer a question while having a mouth full, is like being stopped as a couple in the middle of intercourse for a moment to turn off the beeping dishwasher, as barbaric as it sounds.


:lol:

I'm like that whenever anyone talks to me when I'm eating, let alone asking me questions.



superboyian
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11 Dec 2013, 9:27 pm

Not really.


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