Aspie Superpower of the Day

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I have the power of last-second memory reversal: I'll try all week to remember something, then forget to take it out the front door with me.

I have a unique form of telepathy that attracts troubled souls to me due to their desire to be subjected to my unique healing powers, typically the insane, those with delusions of persecution, or those suffering from severe personality disorders. They are drawn to me as moths to a candle, and -- due to the highly-empathic nature of that telepathic signal -- always initiate a conversation in which they will explain their problems to me, with the implicit understanding throughout that only I can provide solutions.

For some reason, which I have yet to subject to rigorous statistical analysis, they tend to respond to this telepathic signal while I am drinking in a pub or café, or travelling on public transport.

I have the superpower to push my neighbours away. I don't know how it works but the lack of my neighbours' company proves that it does work.

I also have a superpower in which I can be harmlessly occupied for a couple of days and suddenly -- WHAM! -- my room is full of rubbish that appears to have been spontaneously-generated.

I currently suspect that this is the result of an advanced telekinetic/teleportative ability, exercised in response to my unconscious desire to collect suitable material and thereby become a useful participant in the local waste recycling program, since such a high proportion of the spontaneously-appearing rubbish seems to take the form of applicable materials, especially beer cans.

For some reason, a corresponding telekinetic/teleportative ability to transfer this rubbish instantaneously to the bins in the back yard, does not yet seem to have evolved. This could be due to some unconscious personal/emotional attraction to such rubbish, inhibiting the development of such abilities.

I have the ability to make mothers usher their children to the other side of the street.

I have the superpower to change people's minds. I don't know how it works, but I can make someone go from liking me to calling me crazy in a matter of minutes.

I have the ability to unerringly chose the locked half of a set of double doors, and nearly brain myself by attempting to walk through them while pushing on them.

Seriously, is this just a British thing? Why do shops and offices have double doors and lock one half of them? Would unlocking both be some kind of unacceptable manifestation of corporate extravagance?

I have done this in the past, only to observe a shop-floor employee swiftly approach the door and relock it.

I admit myself defeated in my attempts to understand this behaviour.

My superpower, which I don't really like, is the ability to hear or see when people use incorrect grammar and mentally correct it.

I have the power of misdirection, by which I stare at an object and make people believe I am totally fascinated by said object, so that they begin staring at it too in an effort to see what's so interesting. Then I finish my reverie and move on, leaving them all scratching their heads and saying, "I don't see anything WTF was she staring at?"

I have a superpower known as "The Act." When I engage "The Act" people believe I am like them, normal. For a short time I can hold a normal conversation, make my voice sound normal, make normal eye contact, and say normal things that is expected of me. "The Act" has a time limit, though, and the conversation must be ended soon as the real me starts slipping out slowly.

My superpower is to smile while I'm feeling quite miserable.

My superpower is to draw realistic pictures of anything.

I have the super power to sneak up on people and scare them in the normal course of just going places. I don't want to scare them, and I'm not trying to sneak. I just do this. I quietly end up behind someone, and then get their attention and freak them out as they realize someone was behind them.

Conversely I'm almost impossible to scare/freak out by people sneaking up and attempting to surprise me with sudden movement & noises.

My super weakness is that I'm incapable of being given correct directions to arrive somewhere on time.