Expressing Sorrow for People Who Lost Loved Ones
So a coworker recently lost his father (I believe he's also an Aspie, but that's neither here nor there). We were working together today, and before he left the topic came up and I admit I'm very clumsy when it comes to other people's feelings.
Generally speaking, I asked him how he was doing, he said something along the lines of "processing but it will never be the same." I said, "yeah, no it won't." He left, I'm fairly certain not in a happy mood.
I realize what I said made him sad, but what should I have said instead? It's too late now to correct it, but perhaps there's something else to say next time. We aren't close (he's in his 60s, I'm in my 20s) so saying "if you ever want to talk about it" seemed odd (not that I thought about it when it happened).
Or maybe I'm just overthinking the whole thing...
I'm terrible at expressing sorrow to people who lost loved ones. I'm not heartless, it's just that I don't relate to people that closely that way. Either it's because of my abuse past or Asperger's but such situations are awkward for me.
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That's the best you can do.
Don't be discouraged if he doesn't take the opportunity to talk about it, he might not want to. Be prepared to witness and experience some unpleasantness (I always end up crying with them!) - being a friend to the bereaved can be difficult, they're often not the most cheerful or logical of creatures.
nick007
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That's the best you can do.
Don't be discouraged if he doesn't take the opportunity to talk about it, he might not want to. Be prepared to witness and experience some unpleasantness (I always end up crying with them!) - being a friend to the bereaved can be difficult, they're often not the most cheerful or logical of creatures.
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I also have a hard time with that. I think my upbringing has a lot to do with it. I've never really felt a connection with my father and the connection that I felt with my mother has weakened somewhat since the June of 2010 or maybe even the September of 2009. I still see my parents, because my dog is with them and it's the honourable thing to do. Even to this day, there are still days that I'm convinced that I was given up for adoption by a destitute London couple. Maybe I was. Who knows?
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equestriatola
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I'm more like the kind of person that will always be there for that person.
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